Agri-humorist Gifts

Bar Code Harvester

Soaring gas prices for farmers.

"No, I like the plan. Just saying, have you ever done any actual tunnelling?"

A sure sign of rain

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

'We're taking over tonight, it's the only way to save the farm.'

'Henrietta is so self-confident.'

'Some dogs are meant to be working dogs and some aren't.'

"Static cling."

'Mother, there's something you're not telling me about that alien invasion, I can feel it!'

'Pass the salt, will ya, buddy?'

"Don't be so dramatic. You tell me you're pregnant every day?"

'That GMO gene salesman was darn right!'

'How are you at thinking outside the flocks?'

"That was definitely mine."

Emergency room doctor about half cow: 'Farming accident. Be sensitive - she's beside herself.'

'Tropical fruit, imported cheese, coconuts...I'm not really into that 'eat locally' stuff.'

"I guess it must be that new growth hormone the farmer gave me!"

"I was hoping Calvin would grow up to be top sirloin..."

'MEN! We've got a fire at the cattle shed! Do we want rare, medium or well done?'

'That hussy. She's always first in line for insemination.'

'With proper flossing there's no reason for hens to not have teeth.'

'I promise, you're not crossing to the Dark Side.'

A Tongue Stud.

'I finnaly located what was causing that hissing sound on the tractor.'

"Ok, let's try it one last time. It's 'Ahhhhhh'..."

'This is your third speeding ticket in a week. Sure your horse didn't get into some genetically modified hay?'

'Oh quit griping and be thankful we even got a bonus this year!'

Grassy breath?

'She says her stomachs ache.'

"I get aroused when I see you in leather."

They're Brazillian!

Experimental Free Range Guinea Pigs For Sale.

Cow asks the horse for the carrot.

"The body is eighty-two-per-cent broth."