Agrarian Philosopher Gifts

Stores of grain and blessings.

"It drives me MAD when farmers complain about their work. . . I mean they do valuable important, interesting and rewarding work. . . and they get to do it 90 hours a week!"

"Do you think there's intellegent life in there?"

''Animal Farm' by George Orwell is definitely my favourite book...'

'Dad, do you you think there's s**t on other planets?'

'When they start calling you a splendid bird, you know you're in trouble.'

It MUST be Valentines Day!

'Aside from a crazed sheep now and then, this is a very risk-free profession.'

'Well, you're bankrupt, but look on the bright side -- it only cost you eight dollars per transaction!'

The Rudges' peaceful home

Right now my brother Al is paying a psychiatrist a hundred bucks an hour to hear his troubles, while I'm drinking beer and telling you mine at happy hour prices. Obviously, Al IS the crazy one.

"The only time he lets 'em out is when he wants the lawn mooing."

"I've never trusted cows."

"Sometimes, son, the guilt inside builds up so much you have to vent the shame silo."

'Don't follow my example and become a beast of burden: Study hard at school!'

'I've been experiencing a lot of deja moo.'

Poultry Reading: 'Lo, Ye Sky, It Falls! Verily it does, watch ye out!'

'These lousy free-range chickens think that they just own the whole world!'

I lactate, therefore I am.

'The effects of winter weather on the lambing season has disastrous side effects.'

"I want to tell her I love her and let her know I'm careful with money."

"Storm’s comin’, Clara. Better get my absentee ballot in."

I wonder if there's life as we know it on other planets.

I see Jerry's had a heart attack!

'First of all, I want you to know that my door is always open...'

Heaven's Cattlegrid.

Old MacDonald had a farm, ee-yi-ee-yi-oh, and on that farm he had a mirror...

It's not enough just to 'milk me'...what's my motivation? Do I want to be milked?

Thinker ponders milking stool.

'Sure, I'm rich because I lay Golden-Eggs, but the downside is that I will never have children...'

"I want to enjoy the greener grass on the other side of the fence, but the problem is that I don't know where that fence is."

Speculators and Food Production

We only follow one star round here, buddy!

Farmer tacking up signs in Dairy barn.

'I'm told they even eat our arthritic knuckles.'