Aging Amuse-bouche Gifts

"Be honest – is my pouch starting to sag?"

"Gimme a large cheeseburger, regular fries and a diet root beer!"

A man sprays his bald head with "Spray Hair" to make it seem as thought he has hair.

"Why bother?"

'You know you're getting old when you take longer to recover than to get tired.'

"Relax. At your age, it's common to have a nose hare now and then."

"I used to drink to forget. Now, age-related, short-term memory loss takes care of that for me."

Ed's receding hairline!

The Woodstock Medical-Emergency Tent - 1994

'Don't all look at me like that! What did you expect the face pack to do for me?'

"Sometimes I wish I could just jump into the dryer and come out wrinkle-free!"

"At a certain point, I bring them back."

'Great news, Methuselah Tests show you'll live to be 100!'

'It looks like you're suffering from TMB... too many birthdays...'

How are you feeling today? I feel just like a newborn baby. Really? Yes. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.

Baldness Facts

'If I knew it would mean all these hospital appointments, I'd never have got old!'

Middle Age: When the four letter word you use most is 'What?'

"You'll see - when you get older, parts start to sag."

Gerontologist on the phone - 'Oh, you know ... same old, same old ... and how are things with you?'

Middle Age Spread.

"My inner child just turned 62. Where's his money?"

"What do you mean, 'I'm in good shape for a man of forty'? I'm only twenty-six!"

An old woman measuring the decreasing height of an old man using a height chart

Middle Age - The Magazine For You - Yeah, You!

"See, the problem with doing things to prolong your life is that all the extra years come at the end, when you're old."

'The bad news is you've lived well beyond your expiration date.'

'Face it dear, we are as old as we look!'

"I call him auction man - his hair is going, his teeth are going, his sex drive has gone."

"I'm living proof that life begins at forty-three."

Rational explanations