Anti-aging Fan Gifts

"That reminds me, Hon. Your Botox shipment arrived yesterday."

They try, but those crows can't make noises they used to. The lost caws!

Multi-Generational Books

Best before 65 million BC.

'Man...You age great!'

"You're in perfect health and look half your age – I'm prescribing something to help you shut up about it."

'That strange smell, George.. is FRESH AIR!'

"If she's a write off can you let me know the scrap value?"

"Iggy Pop? More like Iggy Grandpop."

'..It's just that with all your amazing powers of deduction and elimination, Holmes, I'm just a little surprised that the best solution you can come up with for seeing off the hound of the Baskervilles, is to 'chase them across the moors with a hoover. up

Adult Barbershop

"We're the same age, but you look great! What's your secret?"

"He's got a great future behind him!"

Tortoise polishing his shell

Hairstyles

"Thanks for getting me out of the house."

Tea and Sugar Rationing

'Dauber Micawber'

FedRex

Brunel sees his psychiatrist

"Occasionally he lobs a brick at the cat."

'These are tough times to be a contract law attorney. Everything's written in stone.'

Elvis' autopsy

The first in-flight meal: "Care for some soup?"

For celebrities, Orville and Wilbur Wright are awfully friendly. Yeah, they're just "plane" folks!

"Was that the sensitive spot you were telling me about?"

'Rock of Ages'

'We need your exact age...'Woodstock Generation' isn't specific enough.'

"I just stood up and nothing hurt... Am I dead?"

"I'm sorry, but he only has 75 years to live!"

"My bottom went to sleep."

"I've decided to start groaning every time I have to move my body a little bit."

'Oh Mother, he's just showing off his passion for freshness.'

I feel like he's undressing me and checking for irregular moles with his eyes. Dating a dermatologist.

'My latest invention -- the daisy wheel!'