Senior Living Fan Gifts

"My bottom went to sleep."

'I'm ninety-two! Tell me what I'm doing wrong... I dare you!"

'Man...You age great!'

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

"Sometimes I wish I could just jump into the dryer and come out wrinkle-free!"

"My novel is about a romance between an octogenarian and a septuagenarian, but I can't remember which is which."

"I've outlived my conventional and alternative doctors."

"But, doctor, what are the advantages of living longer?"

'No need to yell son, I may be deaf, but I can still read.'

"We settled into the one-level after our hips got bad."

"At my age, your legs and bowels begin to go."

"He's got a great future behind him!"

'Okay, we grew old together - Now what?'

'Senior Cat Warranty, Low maintenance sofa accessory, Unlimited purring and cuddling, Mellow 'been there done that' attitude.'

"You want the truth? I can't remember the truth!"

"I look forward to growing dead with you."

St Bernard Toilet Holder

'Wow, NICE Flat!'

'So June, do you think we should get a stairlift or just move to a bungalow...because, let's face it, we're getting on and here will come a point...when you won't be able to carry me up the stairs anymore.'

Well that's me detoxed!

Honey I'm Home

Oldies.

'Serves me right for frowning.'

"His hip isn't getting any better. I really should have him put to sleep."

"I found this place on Waterbnb."

"The older I get, the more I change from a lounge lizard into a bathroom lizard..."

Getting Old Sucks: "Incontinence hotline. Can you hold please?"

"Hmm, most common places old farts leave their glasses and car keys!!"

"I've decided to start groaning every time I have to move my body a little bit."

"My memory's so bad I can plan my own surprise party."

New Scoots for Old Coots!