Age-disparity Enthusiast Gifts

"... Yes, the night is still young. Unfortunately, you're not."

How Rings In Nature Indicate Aging.

Breast Height Chart

Ed's receding hairline!

"Where do you remember last seeing your glasses?"

Middle Age: When you finally get your head together, and your body starts to fall apart!

"At a certain point, I bring them back."

"Two, please—one senior and one tootsie."

'Great news, Methuselah Tests show you'll live to be 100!'

"In your 40s, hair starts growing everywhere except where it should."

'It looks like you're suffering from TMB... too many birthdays...'

Midlife: You Are Here.

This is what Fred gets for wishing for more hair.

The end of innocence

'If I knew it would mean all these hospital appointments, I'd never have got old!'

"You'll see - when you get older, parts start to sag."

"I enjoy being old - my health always gives me something to talk about!"

"My grandson said I was "woke" but I'm 90% certain I didn't even nod off"

Gerontologist on the phone - 'Oh, you know ... same old, same old ... and how are things with you?'

Warning: Contents may settle over time.

"You don't have OCD or ADD. You have OLD."

'Admit it, George-you're too old to chase after does.'

I spent my whole career studying the effects of cloning on aging. What did you find? Same old, same old. Plainwell Brew.

An old woman measuring the decreasing height of an old man using a height chart

Middle Age - The Magazine For You - Yeah, You!

"See, the problem with doing things to prolong your life is that all the extra years come at the end, when you're old."

"It's male pattern osteoporosis."

'The bad news is you've lived well beyond your expiration date.'

"...At what point do hemorrhoids become 'just another hobby?'"

Fortune teller sits beneath a sign 'Wrinkles Read Here'

She IS a raisin

"When did I change from seizing the day to just seething?"

I'm not sure when I can help you. It's not easy getting parts for you anymore

"That's just the meds kicking in."

'Medical researchers discovered that the leading cause of death by aging is due to birthdays.'