Age-defying Pet Lover Gifts

'He keeps us young!'

Boy with a whale: 'He followed me home, Dad, can I keep him?'

Pet Shop: "I think I've found one for me."

Boy bringing home an octopus in a fish bowl.

"What if, instead of the safe being filled with rawhide, it's filled with catnip and mice!" "No one will buy it." "Drugs and rodents? Who's our demographic?" "The Simpsons already did that."

'I bought him to retrieve my e-mails.'

'Because the horned one commands them to, that's how!'

Roget's Pet

Rock musician playing a dog as a guitar

'I'd like the tongue, please.'

'Click it or ticket.'

'That's nothing...I've been told my wig takes fifteen years off me.'

"He ran out of pee."

Al's Teachers' Pets.

'Apart from Charlie here, I don't have any problems with slugs'

'Listen Mabel, you are 70, I am 75 and we have known each other since junior school. It's pure wishful thinking on your part if you claim I am 'grooming' you...'

"Me? I'm taking the dog for a silly walk."

"I'm feeling less stressed since I set my biological clock back an hour."

'It's only temporary until we can find a good home for the cats.'

"Actually, I would rather have a dog. It's just that we need the eggs."

'Do you have to do that every time?'

'It's not art - I just overfed my goldfish!'

When Pugs dream.

"One more question. Would you mind if corporate implanted a chip between your shoulder blades?"

'Nature abhors a vacuum. Nature is my cat.'

"In my family we're forbidden from mentioning my uncle...he made his money with cat food stocks!"

'Good boy. That's better than the others, but still too long. For playing fetch, I prefer a shorter stick, shaped like that, without bark or moss, and not quite as heavy.'

"I believe we've entered the dark underbelly of pet ownership."

''No, Ma,am', I said. 'I'm not taking anybody's pet pig for a walk in a baby carriage' and then she doubled my salary.'

The grim reaper (of humans) and the angel of death (for dogs) are foreshadowing the imminent death of a man and his doh.

Self-walking dog

'If we build it, they will come.'

"Too goth?"

"You know very well you're not supposed to beg at the table."