Age-defying Flirt Gifts

'Listen Mabel, you are 70, I am 75 and we have known each other since junior school. It's pure wishful thinking on your part if you claim I am 'grooming' you...'

96 is the new 3.

A new you. 'First, you've got to stop lying about you age.' It didn't start off well.

A woman is as young as she feels like admitting to.

"Quick, I need a drink. Someone just called me Ma'am."

Signs of Aging: Light headedness, shortening, waxy skin, burn out and hot flashes.

"I cranked up the dose a tad. Why should kids have all the fun?"

'Believe me, sweetie, if I thought the 'Wrinkle Out' setting on the clothes dryer would work...'

'I didn't know people still played footsie.'

"If I become 'Born again', can I fudge a bit on my age?"

"I never thought you'd live to be 90 either. By the way, you're only 67."

"Without a doubt... the first sixty!"

"Our health insurance premium doubled. Our age is now a pre-existing condition."

'It's hard to tell if that's part of the routine or just rheumatism.'

"Don't worry about being in your 40's - before you know it, you'll be in your 50's!"

"Bad boys don't die. They just ride in to the sunset!"

Still hip, but not much hop.

"In your case we’ll begin the facelift with an incision behind your right ear and extend it into the waiting room."

'He keeps us young!'

"Awww! How long have you been married?"

Florida Wildlife Today's Featured Species is the Old Goat

"Agnes is so crushing on him."

"I know that you've always enoyed your work."

"I'm starting to look old."

'I don't eat organic foods. At my age I can use all the preservatives I can get.'

Nancy Pelosi Gets a Speakership By Agreeing to Just Four More Years. How Many Years Does She Have Anyway?

"It's father, doctor, he's creaking badly."

'To absent teeth.'

We are 50 going on 15...

"You realise, in cosmological years, we're not very old at all."

'Mum, you just HAVE to stop lying about your age, otherwise everyone will think that you are younger than me!'

"Pushing sixty isn't the problem - it's pulling fifty-nine."

"I'm afraid it's two, three months, tops, before you're all pants."

'I used to be an old fogey, but now I'm post-modern!'

Tooth Fairy stealing dentures