Adventure Humourist Gifts

'One good thing, descending should take less time and effort than climbing.'

"Don't be embarrassed. Most heroic archetypes your age have lost the ability to swashbuckle."

Skiing.

Football Chameleon

'Whup - giant anaconda about to attack - quick Peg, hand me something to take care of it with.'

Man fishing with large bait

Irritable trowel syndrome.

"I’ve heard of them barking at the moon, but never scatting at the sun."

"Well if it comes to that you're not exactly Mr Wonderful."

Wherever the Trail Leads. . .

Mountain climbers, "Someone's been here before us."

Pop Top Ice FIshing

'I've been sitting on this mountain for 25 years, and what I've learned is that true happiness can only be found in the soothing relief of a fast-acting hemorrhoid cream!'

Bird Symbol Hunting

'Oh dear, what a shame - It's raining again, Pam!'

"Only 150 kids? - Have you considered fertility treatment?"

"Geez, Dude. I asked for a slight trim. Not a Brazilian wax."

"Perhaps I should have warned you...They really don't like wholemeal bread."

"Have you farted. . . ?"

'I do enjoy the winter olympics.'

Goldylocks and the Three Beers.

'Clayton enjoys living on the edge,'

'...And if that doesn't work, grab your rifle and start blasting away.'

"Have you ever actually seen a chicken cross the road?"

Echo Mountain...NO Yodeling! - Falling rock zone.

'If a bear attacks and I have to play dead I want it to be as convincing as possible!'

Destiny is all...

Ranger has sign saying 'Do not feed the bears'. Bear crosses out sign to read 'Feed the bears'.

The secret to happiness is knowing how to keep a secret.

"Yes, I do know how to light a fire with two sticks... Provided one of them is a match."

Murphy bed...Murphy.

'My 434 novels are very similar to Terry Pratchetts apart from the fact that they've never been published.'

"He's really not that scary, Teresa."

Fly fishing.

"C'mon man, you got the wrong species."