Adventure Comedian Gifts

'You do realize you're making things worse?!!'

"Don't be embarrassed. Most heroic archetypes your age have lost the ability to swashbuckle."

"Again? This is the last time I'm letting you wear the pants with the little zipper."

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

'Whup - giant anaconda about to attack - quick Peg, hand me something to take care of it with.'

Man fishing with large bait

'Now Featuring Gas-Fired Microwave Campfires!'

"Hey, welcome to the Catskills. Anyone here from New Jersey?"

"If your luggage is in your clothes it doesn't count!"

Newark by Night. A new Dutch restaurant just opened. What do you know about Dutch cuisine? Nothing. But I'm a big fan of the "Dutch Treat" concept.

Wherever the Trail Leads. . .

Bird Symbol Hunting

Jim Morrison Goes Camping

"Don't worry. If we're too late, we can always catch the secondary screening."

'I've been sitting on this mountain for 25 years, and what I've learned is that true happiness can only be found in the soothing relief of a fast-acting hemorrhoid cream!'

Pop Top Ice FIshing

"Geez, Dude. I asked for a slight trim. Not a Brazilian wax."

'I do enjoy the winter olympics.'

Goldylocks and the Three Beers.

"He can never take anything serious. Everything's a joke."

"If I wanted your opinion I would have hauled you in for questioning."

'...And if that doesn't work, grab your rifle and start blasting away.'

Deer about to cut rope of gun being lifted to hunter in tree.

Destiny is all...

Echo Mountain...NO Yodeling! - Falling rock zone.

"Well they are fake ducks, Honey, but not quite decoyish enough."

The secret to happiness is knowing how to keep a secret.

"Ahhh! Ha-ha! Exactly what I said when I was pulled over. Dipstick!"

'Look Dear. The first Robin Hood of spring.'

'You feel awkward? You're the one who said we ought to hunt bare.'

"The next time you have an 'emergency', have it on the roof like every other self-respecting bird!"

'Hello, this is your captain speaking... I'm on the next flight!'

"Repeat after me... We are vegan... We are vegan..."

Monet At Open Mic Night

"He's really not that scary, Teresa."