Exploration Comedian Gifts

Quick Sand and Slow Sand

I don't think we can survive here. There's little chance we can afford the taxes.

"If your luggage is in your clothes it doesn't count!"

"Don't worry. If we're too late, we can always catch the secondary screening."

" ... and if we finish pillaging early enough, we can still catch the evening Zumba class on the after deck."

Religious toilets.

'Time ou! ... Flea!'

"I just attained enlightenment! - Gimme a high-five!"

"I get it...you went south for the winter. Now, don't you think it's time to ditch the shirt?"

Open Mic Nacht

'Have you done any stand-up?'

"Oh, sure, Mr. Nice Guy robot, bringing in the pastries...we get fat and you just sit there, charging your batteries!"

'He arrested two kids yesterday. One for drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. He charged one and let the other off!'

'Good day on Wall Street?'

Man caught in fishing lines

A turkey on a baggage carousel

'Well, this is not a good sign: Can I have a look at that map of yours?'

"I showed Tia Carmen these really funny cartoons I drew...but she didn't laugh."

"I'm creating a web cartoon...but to be edgy, I'm making my characters really offensive."

"What have I told you about shoplifting, son!"

'Poor Oog -- evolution sure has AGED him!'

The Quack Quack Diaries - Quack Quack Joins The Army

'Wait! -- We'll never develop a meaningful relationship if you keep knocking me unconscious!'

'Uh-oh.'

'You've never heard of 'prop wash'?'

"First time ice fishing?"

'Hey, my dad promised that I'd get a gun.'

'If you must know Harriet; I'm heading for the Pacific Rim.'

"Sure, the cow jumped over the moon, and he also burned up on re-entry."

'He's got it made, Derek - I know men who'd pay good money to get trampled on all over like that!'

Thief on Royal Mail train - "Hi - I'm on the gravy train."

Top South African soap: Neighboers.

Mime artist in library.

Porcupine about to sit next to skunk on airplane.

"No, this isn't Mt. Sinai..."