Ad-dodger Gifts

"We interrupt this endless stream of mind-numbing adverts to bring you a TV programme..."

Melvin would go to any lengths to get away from McDonald's advertising...

'Let's keep in mind that although quitters never win, they often manage to avoid litigation.'

"So, in conclusion, I would like to say that although I haven't actually read the book, I still found it a fascinating and enriching experience.

'He's kind of a rescue dog. He points to where the hardest work is, so that I can run into the opposite direction!'

'officially, I'm on leave, but I'm really just ducking the media.'

Also I don't like coffee, so I'll be working through my coffee breaks.

"Isn't this so much better without our devices?"

Election Cancelling Headphones

Trying to come up with yet another password...

"Oh look! Another crappy grant which requires my goddamned work interact with the f**king community!"

Revenuers will be shot.

'I needed some relief from data overload.'

'You mean that's all you ever read, designer labels?'

'That's why your checkbook balance looks so good. You sent all of your online bills to the junk file.'

"You're suffering from banner blindness."

'Darling, I've just deleted the computer,'

"Dora's anxiety has always manifested itself in the 'flight response.'"

'Now I know why they call you Cinderella... You're always running away from the ball.'

"So I'm thinking...why bother with all the junk mail?"

'Great news! Your father's got a job.'

"Bad news...you don't have a deadly disease. You've got to go back to work."

"What's to prevent some total stranger anywhere on the world from paying my bills."

"Severe lactose intolerance - he can't even look at a cow."

'He knows every trick in the book. Ironic really as he has never read one in his life!'

"I see Rover has introduced himself to you?"

"Sorry, Cruz, I flunked my history test...and now I'm grounded."

'Crystal! You didn't duck and cover! If this wasn't just a drill and I had been a real deranged fan, you'd be soaked in beer right now!'

"I miss avoiding people."

But mom, why should I leave the maze when I’ve got everything I need here?

"He forgot to record the game, so he had to watch it live. The 1,284 commercials was too much for him to handle."

"If it's the reedy, gurgling 'cut-cut-turrrrr' of the long-billed marsh wren, I'm not here."

"I programmed your fitness watch to tell the truth."

Extremely Lactose Intolerant

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