Acupuncture Amateur Gifts

'Exactly which school of acupuncture are you from?'

Self help acupuncture

"One more rinse and the inside of your car will be clean too, Dad."

Traditional vs alternative medicine.

'Doctor, how much acupuncture experience DO you have?'

When Tia Carmen says... "A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner" it means "I can fix it with a hammer."

If all else falls...Mom's Chicken Soup

'By the way, dear - you have an appointment with the acupuncturist tomorrow.'

Acupuncture clinic

'We couldn't find anything wrong with your car, so all you owe us is for 2 hours of search.'

Witch Doctor

"The fact that you're here means you will continue to make poor life decisions."

Acupuncturist Society Cocktail Party - 'For heaven's sake, Brian, it's only a pineapple chunk!'

'Fortunes, Impressions, Hunches, Wild Guesses'

'Extreme acupuncture.'

"I'm delighted that you feel better, but I'd go easy on those backflips!"

'If that doesn't work, nothing will.'

He spends all weekend under the stupid thing, but I don't think he's really fixing anything.

"So which bit do you think was 'nature' and which 'nurture'?"

Acupuncture - "So two hundred needles stuck into my fags will help me quit smoking, will it?"

'Wow! The earache I've had for three weeks is gone!'

Acupuncture - Pin the Tail on the Donkey.

'I was thinking acupuncture might cure his laziness. . .'

An unlicensed acupuncturist

Acupressure Gauge

"If you ask me, your Christmas gift return policy is too liberal."

Acupuncture.

"Valentine's Day has been good to me, but I had to diversify."

Cowboy Acupuncture

"I've never seen such destruction on a phone. What happened?"

'I hope this alternative Chinese medicine works!'

'I was in the circus before I took up acupuncture.'

"Look at this: Acupuncture, aromatherapy, herbal tea. We could be dealing with a homoeopathic killer."

'No, this won't help your back, but I'm getting great reception for the big game!'

'I'm trying homeopathcy, what are you trying?' 'Acupuncture!'