Acupuncture Curious Gifts

'Doctor, how much acupuncture experience DO you have?'

Self help acupuncture

'With these alternative fertility treatments you never quite know how things turn out,'

Jesus's First and Less-Heralded Miracle Walk,

Traditional vs alternative medicine.

Doctor receiving advice from patient's mother

If all else falls...Mom's Chicken Soup

'By the way, dear - you have an appointment with the acupuncturist tomorrow.'

9 out of 10 doctors recommend keeping their stethoscopes in the freezer.

"I thought I'd give Western medicine one more chance."

All kidding aside, let me explain why I get to call you Al, yet you have to call me Dr. Kapuchnik. It's simply because I'm a psychiatrist and you're a bum. It's nothing personal. Thanks for explaining. I feel better.

Alternative Medicine.

Man to other coming out of Alternative Health Club: 'I had total joint replacement - they switched me from hemp to medical marijuana.'

Acupuncturist Society Cocktail Party - 'For heaven's sake, Brian, it's only a pineapple chunk!'

'Take two of these, and call me in the morning!'

Witch Doctor

Acupuncture clinic

"I'm delighted that you feel better, but I'd go easy on those backflips!"

'Extreme acupuncture.'

"Solar flares may be a contributing factor or perhaps it's a negative vibe sensitivity...."

'I've got an appointment with Mr. Payne.' - 'He'll see you now.' - 'Okay, take a deep br-' - 'Gah!' - 'Great, now turn ov-' - 'Argh!' - 'And a final tw-' - 'Mummy!' - '*Sob*' - 'Okay, all done.' - 'Did you, by any chance...' - '...hear you crying...'

A Mom and Pop Operation

'If that doesn't work, nothing will.'

*Not suitable for those with an allergy to consciousness expansion

Acupuncture - "So two hundred needles stuck into my fags will help me quit smoking, will it?"

"Lately my joints are stiff." "You're rollin' 'em too tight. Try vaping."

'Wow! The earache I've had for three weeks is gone!'

Acupuncture - Pin the Tail on the Donkey.

'I was thinking acupuncture might cure his laziness. . .'

'Eureka! It won't cure anything, but the side effects are terrific!'

An unlicensed acupuncturist

"Dude, we've struck cannabis oil! We're going to be rich!"

Man passes Holistic Health Clinic and sees Holistic Donuts.

'We don't have a health plan but our accountant knows Reiki.'

"I thought you said you were dating a rich doctor!"