Zombie Slayer Gifts

"Anything but a head shot only angers an attorney."

"After a long day at school, it's nice just to come home, kick back and outrun a horde of bloodthirsty zombies."

'Now, keep in mind that these numbers are only as accurate as the fictitious data, ludicrous assumptions and wishful thinking they're based upon!'

Giant slug attacks a city

'Not only was the superbug immune to antibiotics, but it had developed a taste for Dr Jones' whisky.'

'It's only a slug Norman.'

Rudy, please help me distract level 2 of my video game. Distract? I have no problem with level 1. But as soon as I get past it. I face this super-powerful monster. I can't defeat it. It's so mean, and ... oh no, here it comes! Where? No more playing or talking about video games. Go outside and do something real! I'll never make it to level 3. You'll never make it to your teens.

Zika: War on Mosquitoes

'Wow, this computer virus is really something else!'

"I'm looking for something with low clearance. Something monsters won't be able to get under."

'Oh for crying out loud, so there's a spider in the bathtub!!'

'Oh, sure, I should wake him up...but I asked him to kill that thing a week ago!'

How to Get Rid of All the Snow

'Willy, get me the pesticide! We've got zombies!'

'I don't give Zombie Apocalypses out to anybody as gifts I'm afraid.'

'What exactly is it you dislike about slugs, Mister Crabtree?'

"Finally! A distraction from my inner demons."

"Your sermon had everyone at rapt attention. Good move cutting the church WiFi."

'I think I can...'

'You have too much salt in your diet.'

'This will kill the spores.'

Jan was one of a select few personal trainers who would exercise demons...

'Faster Grace, it's gaining on you!'

'Hank, if I find one more of these things in the lawn, I'm going to throw away that damn crossbow.'

'Look - the giant is dead! You got your cow back! Stop worrying about the loss of the bean crop!'

"Exorcising one's demons."

Mayhem, Inc. Part 12

'John is a great father and a wonderful husband, but occasionally he wrestles with demons.'

"The witness may continue. I was just killing a spider."

"To be honest I thought it would be more intimidating..."

'Don't worry Hal, I think if you pour salt on them, they completely shrivel up.'

"Uhhh, I just need your ID, sir."

"I'm not trying to sell you anything, sir. I'm doing market research, and all I ask is two or three hours of your time to answer a few thousand questions."

'I hate this bunker.'

'Gah! Spider!' - 'Arghhh!' - 'Oh, hello insomnia.'