Spider Slayer Gifts

'Oh for crying out loud, so there's a spider in the bathtub!!'

'Oh, sure, I should wake him up...but I asked him to kill that thing a week ago!'

'Gah! Spider!' - 'Arghhh!' - 'Oh, hello insomnia.'

"Of course I don't love you just because you can open jars. You can also kill spiders."

"The witness may continue. I was just killing a spider."

'Now, keep in mind that these numbers are only as accurate as the fictitious data, ludicrous assumptions and wishful thinking they're based upon!'

Giant slug attacks a city

"It's time I got a bigger sword!"

Don't tell my wife. Dragon head.

"I've diligently spent the last eight hours saving an entire colony of elves from a pack of vicious dragons and your only concern is that it is 2 am?"

Scared employees and manager fighting recession (dragon).

'It's only a slug Norman.'

Your computer is not fully protected...

The strong corna war

Rudy, please help me distract level 2 of my video game. Distract? I have no problem with level 1. But as soon as I get past it. I face this super-powerful monster. I can't defeat it. It's so mean, and ... oh no, here it comes! Where? No more playing or talking about video games. Go outside and do something real! I'll never make it to level 3. You'll never make it to your teens.

Zika: War on Mosquitoes

"We have to develop a new way to build our customer base. Antispam software has put a dent in our marketing strategy."

Eastenders: This Programme Contains Bad Acting And One-Dimensional Characterisation

'Wow, this computer virus is really something else!'

"After a long day at school, it's nice just to come home, kick back and outrun a horde of bloodthirsty zombies."

"Anything but a head shot only angers an attorney."

'Yes, I'm gaining weight! Deleting spam all morning makes me really hungry for lunch!'

'Good morning. You have twelve million terabyte unread e-mails.'

"I'm looking for something with low clearance. Something monsters won't be able to get under."

I know it's not on the yoga dvd but a spider crawled up my sleeve

How to Get Rid of All the Snow

Saint George's Day: 'You can understand why they made him England's Patron Saint.'

"Don't just pin this on me. You didn't want to kill the spider either."

'Willy, get me the pesticide! We've got zombies!'

Internet crap.

"You killed it, you clean it."

'What exactly is it you dislike about slugs, Mister Crabtree?'

'This will kill the spores.'

Jan was one of a select few personal trainers who would exercise demons...

'Faster Grace, it's gaining on you!'