Spider Slayer Pillows

'Oh for crying out loud, so there's a spider in the bathtub!!'

'Oh, sure, I should wake him up...but I asked him to kill that thing a week ago!'

'Gah! Spider!' - 'Arghhh!' - 'Oh, hello insomnia.'

"Of course I don't love you just because you can open jars. You can also kill spiders."

"The witness may continue. I was just killing a spider."

'Now, keep in mind that these numbers are only as accurate as the fictitious data, ludicrous assumptions and wishful thinking they're based upon!'

Giant slug attacks a city

"It's time I got a bigger sword!"

"I've diligently spent the last eight hours saving an entire colony of elves from a pack of vicious dragons and your only concern is that it is 2 am?"

Scared employees and manager fighting recession (dragon).

'It's only a slug Norman.'

Your computer is not fully protected...

Zika: War on Mosquitoes

The strong corna war

"We have to develop a new way to build our customer base. Antispam software has put a dent in our marketing strategy."

'Wow, this computer virus is really something else!'

'Yes, I'm gaining weight! Deleting spam all morning makes me really hungry for lunch!'

"Anything but a head shot only angers an attorney."

"After a long day at school, it's nice just to come home, kick back and outrun a horde of bloodthirsty zombies."

'Good morning. You have twelve million terabyte unread e-mails.'

"I'm looking for something with low clearance. Something monsters won't be able to get under."

I know it's not on the yoga dvd but a spider crawled up my sleeve

How to Get Rid of All the Snow

"Don't just pin this on me. You didn't want to kill the spider either."

Saint George's Day: 'You can understand why they made him England's Patron Saint.'

Internet crap.

'Willy, get me the pesticide! We've got zombies!'

"You killed it, you clean it."

'What exactly is it you dislike about slugs, Mister Crabtree?'

Jan was one of a select few personal trainers who would exercise demons...

'This will kill the spores.'

'Faster Grace, it's gaining on you!'

"Exorcising one's demons."

'Another ad for penis-enlargement.'

'Look - the giant is dead! You got your cow back! Stop worrying about the loss of the bean crop!'