Vampire Slayer Gifts

"To be honest I thought it would be more intimidating..."

He looks so natural lying there...

Giant slug attacks a city

"It's time I got a bigger sword!"

Don't tell my wife. Dragon head.

"I've diligently spent the last eight hours saving an entire colony of elves from a pack of vicious dragons and your only concern is that it is 2 am?"

'I've got it made in the shade. What worries me is sunshine.'

Child buys 'Dracula doll': Keep in box until sunset.

Scared employees and manager fighting recession (dragon).

Professor Van Helsing's long and successful career as a vampire hunter, came to a sudden end due to woodworm.

'It's only a slug Norman.'

'My head's in the shop, this is just a loaner.'

Zika: War on Mosquitoes

Rudy, please help me distract level 2 of my video game. Distract? I have no problem with level 1. But as soon as I get past it. I face this super-powerful monster. I can't defeat it. It's so mean, and ... oh no, here it comes! Where? No more playing or talking about video games. Go outside and do something real! I'll never make it to level 3. You'll never make it to your teens.

"The last vampire who lived in it spared no expense on upgrades. Especially when it comes to the latest technology."

'Wow, this computer virus is really something else!'

Carpe Noctem - Seize the Night

Van Helsing's plans are thwarted by the Count's new anti-staking device.

"After a long day at school, it's nice just to come home, kick back and outrun a horde of bloodthirsty zombies."

"Anything but a head shot only angers an attorney."

"Introvert."

"I'm looking for something with low clearance. Something monsters won't be able to get under."

'Oh for crying out loud, so there's a spider in the bathtub!!'

'Actually, I was thinking more blood group than personality.'

Vampire hunters manage to grab the dentures of a vampire.

'Oh, sure, I should wake him up...but I asked him to kill that thing a week ago!'

A Blind Vampire using a bat as a guide.

Saint George's Day: 'You can understand why they made him England's Patron Saint.'

"Never mind about star signs what blood group are you"

How to Get Rid of All the Snow

"Somehow I don’t think that’s the sound of a sexy teenage vampire."

"Just as I expected, Mrs Frimley. You've got vampires."

Right that's it...you've had enough Bloody Marys!

'Willy, get me the pesticide! We've got zombies!'

"You killed it, you clean it."