Squirrel Slayer Gifts

'Hank, if I find one more of these things in the lawn, I'm going to throw away that damn crossbow.'

"You do realize you can't take that one home."

"Awww man. My nuts are so old they're wrinkled." "Tell me about it."

"Nuts to you, too."

It's estimated that millions of trees are planted by forgetful squirrels.

"I've got you in my sights now, Mister Squirrel, with your fluffy tail and those tiny hands clutching that itty-bitty nut. Aww, you must be hungry...poor little fella... I love you, Mister Squirrel."

"The library rejected your request to ban all books on cats and squirrels. But, to be fair, it was no dumber than all the other book ban requests we get."

Giant slug attacks a city

"Blast, you've cleaned me out again!" Grey squirrels out competing red squirrel for food.

Baby squirrel & Berries

Dog phrenology

"May you love like you've never been hurt, dance like no one is watching, and chase squirrels at the speed of light."

"You are aware that’s a golf ball?"

"It's unusual to see them reading this time of year."

Base jumper in squirrel suit sees splat shadow as he leaps from canyon wall.

"My dog chased a squirrel up my pantleg!"

"I wonder what he dreams about...Squirrels I bet."

A day in the life of a dog.

"Looks like you forgot to pack your lunch again Bob!"

"I had no idea. You mean I'm a dog?"

"Your food line is nice and long, and - oh, my - your squirrel line is all over the place."

"No squirrel, but I found Jimmy Hoffa."

"Buy stock in a college?...I don't think you can...but why would we?"

'Look...it's almost empty! Those pesky birds need to quit stealin' the food out of this squirrel feeder!'

'It's only a slug Norman.'

"Never mind the cat! There's a squirrel stuck in a rainspout over on Lang Road!!"

"Back away from the squirrel!"

Yoga for dogs

Unsubscribe-A-Mole

"Anything but a head shot only angers an attorney."

"No thanks, just the peanuts."

"I know it was your turn to pick, but could we listen to something besides the podcast about squirrels again?"