Youthful Tweeter Pillows

"He has the tweeting skills of a man twice his age."

'…and remember - around HERE, ‘talk is CHEEP'.'

Multi-Generational Books

"Twitter is back! Hurry, hurry, get yer free speech here!"

"I'm both too liberal to be preppy and too conservative to be trendy."

"But the good news is Trump has broken off diplomatic relations with them only on Twitter..."

'We're looking for something that captures the zeitgeist of the nation...you know, the Great American Tweet.'

"My Twitter account isn't too interesting. It's mostly just a bunch of threats."

Follow God On Twitter

"Jeremy and I are so in sync, we finish each other's tweets."

'It's a tweet from Maid Marian.'

Student: 'Is the medical marijuana thing a grass-roots movement?'

When it comes to texting, she's all thumbs.'

'We beseech thee oh Lord, tweet us they word.'

'The position calls for a mature person with young ideas.'

Whoever said "Brevity is the soul of wit" must have not read many tweets!

"Hi, it's me. My mum's confiscated my mobile." (Kid talks to friend using margarine tub and string).

"So then I thought...who needs speech writers when I can just recite all my old tweets!"

'My problems seem small to you because you're so darn BIG'

"If you think you've earned this by consistently retweeting my tweets -- you're right."

"You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can be taken out of context and put on Twitter and then it'll be a whole thing."

"And I'll have my usual - 'Mutton dressed as lamb'!"

'Just because everyone applauded when you dropped your lunch tray in the cafeteria, doesn't mean that you should pursue a career in show business.'

My Fair Lady Twitter

"I'm diagnosing a conflict of interest . . . your body knows how old you are, but your mind refuses to believe it."

'I don't care. You're not going over to the dark side and that's final.'

'I'm thinking of writing a tweet.'

Tweet

I'm your ghost twitterer. It's a marketing vehicle for your radio show. You're stealing my identity because if you used your own, no one would follow your tweets! You've got 3,000 followers. They're living to read about your every movement. Beating on pause. Beating on pause.

The twittering president.

'It appears your son has a tweeting disorder'

'I got the ain't nobody reading my tweets blues.'

'Wow. He looks great for 5!'

This isn't a fortune in the cookie, it's a tweet!

"The good book says to tweet others as you would want to be tweeted."