Yogi Wannabe Gifts

'You wouldn't be very good at petting Dachshunds.'

"Do you guys serve beer?"

Yoga for Alcoholics

My God, I need to fart.

"I'd like to start the 'Wellness at Work' training by offering you some guidance on diet and exercise."

'Wish you wouldn't cut your nails at bedtime!'

'I'm finally at one with the universe...but apparently that doesn't include the DOW.'

"Well, it gets lonely up here!"

What're you doing today, Darlene? Power relaxing. 9 to 10:15 I'm reading the paper. 10:20 to 11:30 I'm getting my nails done while reading Catch 22 for my books club. 11:45 to 1, I'm eating lunch, catching up on calls, paying bills then kicking back on the couch from 1 to 1:15. The afternoon is sheer bliss. Yoga from 2-3, Pilates from 3-4, massage from 4-5, meditation 5-6. Now move. Please now! You're interfering with my relaxing. How the type-A spend their Sundays. 10:02, bathroom break. Everyo

'Please join me now in a group meditation.'

'Oh, sure -- You want me to waste my valuable time helping you extinguish your ego'

'I warned him that this was no place for a guy with inner-ear problems.'

'You should now feel relaxed and at one with your whole body.'

Tangled facing dog...

ME, MEDITATING ON NO-SELF

'Isn't it about time for our seventh-year stretch?'

1. Wealthy people will consider hiring others to do their exercise for them. They should not give in to this temptation, as studies have shown that this seriously slows down any truly serious body-building campaign. 2. The key word in isometrics is balance. Be sure every part of your body shares in the fun equally and you will be able to avoid awkward developments.

"Here goes nothing."

'I've been up here almost a month now -- when do we get paid?'

"We're making exiting advances in alternative car care."

For Marcos, dissolving the ego was going to be a long-term process.

'The Only Time it's Okay for a Man to Think about Nothing.'

"...Ouch...Ouch...Ouch...Ouch..."

"You're thirty minutes late. Does that mean I get it for free?"

'I'm getting worried about Goopta -- he's been having an out-of-body experience for three weeks now.'

Yogi Comedy: A yogi comedian tells a yoga joke. '...is this thing aum?'

"I'm really having trouble dealing with the global pandemic,economic collapse and cancellation of my weekly yoga class."

Yoga teacher vs me

Pot Needles

I love Yoga

"How come we never sleep at my place?"

Om, I will kill him, ooommm. Om, I will kill him, ooommm... Jack would later be charged with premeditated murder

'Your first lesson is free.'

The real reason bears lose weight when they hibernate.

Santa Yoga