Yogi Gifts

'I warned him that this was no place for a guy with inner-ear problems.'

'I'm finally at one with the universe...but apparently that doesn't include the DOW.'

"Here goes nothing."

"...Ouch...Ouch...Ouch...Ouch..."

"Well, I've always found that couch very comfortable." (bed of nails).

Pot Needles

'I'm getting worried about Goopta -- he's been having an out-of-body experience for three weeks now.'

'I miss the hurly, but not the burly.'

'I've been up here almost a month now -- when do we get paid?'

What're you doing today, Darlene? Power relaxing. 9 to 10:15 I'm reading the paper. 10:20 to 11:30 I'm getting my nails done while reading Catch 22 for my books club. 11:45 to 1, I'm eating lunch, catching up on calls, paying bills then kicking back on the couch from 1 to 1:15. The afternoon is sheer bliss. Yoga from 2-3, Pilates from 3-4, massage from 4-5, meditation 5-6. Now move. Please now! You're interfering with my relaxing. How the type-A spend their Sundays. 10:02, bathroom break. Everyo

'Oh, sure -- You want me to waste my valuable time helping you extinguish your ego'

'-and how was it for you,my darling?

'Wish you wouldn't cut your nails at bedtime!'

"Well, it gets lonely up here!"

ME, MEDITATING ON NO-SELF

"You're thirty minutes late. Does that mean I get it for free?"

"Come on! You’ve done the whole ‘be one with the universe’ thing … be one with the Scotch."

"Do you guys serve beer?"

Yoga for Alcoholics

My God, I need to fart.

"I'd like to start the 'Wellness at Work' training by offering you some guidance on diet and exercise."

Proceed no further if chakras not aligned.

Hold for one more page, then roll over into the bended elbow, resting chin pose. Book yoga.

'At my age, yoga keeps me flexible, so I can still lick myself clean...'

"Mom?"

Tangled facing dog...

Weathervanes.

'Isn't it about time for our seventh-year stretch?'

"Thank you."

Yogi Mayor

"We're making exiting advances in alternative car care."

For Marcos, dissolving the ego was going to be a long-term process.

'The Only Time it's Okay for a Man to Think about Nothing.'

'How's your pilates class doing?'

A pair of yoga instructors use beds of nails on the beach.