Yogi Humorist Gifts

'Isn't it about time for our seventh-year stretch?'

"Do you guys serve beer?"

My God, I need to fart.

"I'd like to start the 'Wellness at Work' training by offering you some guidance on diet and exercise."

"How long were you in that headstand?"

'Wish you wouldn't cut your nails at bedtime!'

'I'm finally at one with the universe...but apparently that doesn't include the DOW.'

"Well, it gets lonely up here!"

'Oh, sure -- You want me to waste my valuable time helping you extinguish your ego'

'I warned him that this was no place for a guy with inner-ear problems.'

"Avoid sitting."

"Downward facing dog"

"So all these years you never did yoga but just walked around carrying the mat?"

"I said half-moon pose, not full moon!"

Dachshund Yoga

"Complaining empowers us."

"Yoga World is two blocks past Yoga Palace. If you see Yoga Mecca, you've gone too far."

'I've been up here almost a month now -- when do we get paid?'

"The Pain may be due to your Yin and Yang being out of alignment, but humour me and lets see if your broken let is part of the problem."

'The Only Time it's Okay for a Man to Think about Nothing.'

'Yoga? Tell me more.'

I know it's not on the yoga dvd but a spider crawled up my sleeve

"...Ouch...Ouch...Ouch...Ouch..."

I love Yoga

"You're thirty minutes late. Does that mean I get it for free?"

"I'm really having trouble dealing with the global pandemic,economic collapse and cancellation of my weekly yoga class."

Om, I will kill him, ooommm. Om, I will kill him, ooommm... Jack would later be charged with premeditated murder

Yogi Comedy: A yogi comedian tells a yoga joke. '...is this thing aum?'

Death of a Goat Yoga Instructor

'I'm getting worried about Goopta -- he's been having an out-of-body experience for three weeks now.'

Pot Needles