Yogi Humorist T-Shirts

'Isn't it about time for our seventh-year stretch?'

"Do you guys serve beer?"

My God, I need to fart.

Yoga classes door.

"I'd like to start the 'Wellness at Work' training by offering you some guidance on diet and exercise."

"How long were you in that headstand?"

'Wish you wouldn't cut your nails at bedtime!'

'I'm finally at one with the universe...but apparently that doesn't include the DOW.'

What're you doing today, Darlene? Power relaxing. 9 to 10:15 I'm reading the paper. 10:20 to 11:30 I'm getting my nails done while reading Catch 22 for my books club. 11:45 to 1, I'm eating lunch, catching up on calls, paying bills then kicking back on the couch from 1 to 1:15. The afternoon is sheer bliss. Yoga from 2-3, Pilates from 3-4, massage from 4-5, meditation 5-6. Now move. Please now! You're interfering with my relaxing. How the type-A spend their Sundays. 10:02, bathroom break. Everyo

"Well, it gets lonely up here!"

'Oh, sure -- You want me to waste my valuable time helping you extinguish your ego'

'I warned him that this was no place for a guy with inner-ear problems.'

"Avoid sitting."

"Downward facing dog"

ME, MEDITATING ON NO-SELF

"So all these years you never did yoga but just walked around carrying the mat?"

"Here goes nothing."

"I said half-moon pose, not full moon!"

'I've been up here almost a month now -- when do we get paid?'

"Complaining empowers us."

Dachshund Yoga

"Yoga World is two blocks past Yoga Palace. If you see Yoga Mecca, you've gone too far."

"The Pain may be due to your Yin and Yang being out of alignment, but humour me and lets see if your broken let is part of the problem."

'The Only Time it's Okay for a Man to Think about Nothing.'

'Yoga? Tell me more.'

I know it's not on the yoga dvd but a spider crawled up my sleeve

"...Ouch...Ouch...Ouch...Ouch..."

Death of a Goat Yoga Instructor

"I'm really having trouble dealing with the global pandemic,economic collapse and cancellation of my weekly yoga class."

Om, I will kill him, ooommm. Om, I will kill him, ooommm... Jack would later be charged with premeditated murder

Yogi Comedy: A yogi comedian tells a yoga joke. '...is this thing aum?'

"You're thirty minutes late. Does that mean I get it for free?"

He's been working out and eating right. His waistline is trim and he's strengthening his core. He has a right to be proud of himself --- but I'm not going to do what he wants and start calling him the "Abdominal Snowman."

I love Yoga

'I'm getting worried about Goopta -- he's been having an out-of-body experience for three weeks now.'