Yellow Pages Nostalgist Gifts

'Ere Bert - there's a lady on the line, saw our name in the Yellow Pages - wants to hire some geraniums to enter in a Flower Show!'

Yearbook

'My daughter says I'm hopelessly outdated...'

The Paper Route

"I'll never forget you."

Paper Boy

Quadruple dark hot chocolate. Whoa, everything all right? Sure, yeah, great. I'm a journalist and writer in an era in which the printed word has been totally devalued by free distribution of information on the internet. Can I pay in prose? Point taken.

"Well if it isn't Mr J.R.Hartley!"

The Last Non E-Book In The World.

'I won't be reading the paper online today, so you can take my computer back to my office.'

"It's a sad state of affairs when Lever House begins to seem like a warm old friend."

The benefit of an old-fashioned newspaper.

"Times were hard for old Sid....He had to get a part-time job!"

'You said you wanted to start reading the newspaper online.'

"Sure I'm impressed...but it's three weeks old."

'Rorschach multiple-choice test'

'I miss fighting who gets the front page of the paper first.'

Man Readig Paper

"Did you bring a duplicate copy of your 'Times' obit with you?"

'Whoa! We sure blew that prediction!'

Santa delivering newspapers

New York, London, Paris, Munich, Everybody Talk About Pop Music

Church in the year 2035.

Dog bringing the Sunday papers.

Conrad Black: 'Let us cross into Canada immediately! The Florida climate is killing my wife.'

"How about a note for my yearbook?"

Oh, the pager's flashing and vibrating - looks like our barstools are ready.

"See Dick text. Text, Dick. Text."

Did you see our favorite comic strip today. The oldy Oldersons. Lemme see! Jebediah Drake's The Oldersons by Abner Drake, Jr. Oldena, you know, I can never tell the difference between pastrami and corned beef. Don't be so rye. Hilarious! But you know what bothers me? It's only in 95% of newspapers. Some papers are replacing it with new strips. What?! Mobilize the troops! The most powerful political group in America: AARC. The American Association of Retired Cartoon Readers. Give us Oldy or give

'Master corrected me with a newspaper... the Sunday Edition.'

'Thanks, boy. But I'm reading the paper off-line today.'

Eighties Throwback.

"I recall losing respect for the 1970s when I got a mood ring and pet rock for my birthday."

"Sorry, but nobody around here reads anymore."

Comparative Review of the New York Post and its App