Yardmeister Gifts

Neighbor Leaf Wars

"He can't decide which one he likes best. . .His leaf blower, his weed wacker, or his metal detector."

"I can't believe how great my life is now: We used to live in an apartment, but now, I have my own garden..."

Dear Santa, please can I have a powerful herbicide for Christmas. Best wishes, Adam.

I hate deer! What do you have to repel them? They're awful. I've got fences. Sprays. Decoys. Tree's Tree Nursery. I'll takes these. Anything to get rid of the varmints. Ring him up, Twig. I don't know why you are so down on deer. They've been very good to you! Anti-deer.

"You've just got to have the biggest and the best, have'nt you?!"

"He loves his leaf blower."

Beginning Yarder.

"Must get a longer cable."

'It says right here on the package, Ed, 'avoid any direct contact with skin'!'

Lawn Order. It's a landscaping show about maintaining a tidy yard.

"Dad, can we please just buy a week wacker?"

'I don't make house calls. My mom won't let me leave the yard.'

"You see a bunny rabbit in the clouds. I see mom telling me to mow the lawn."

The Gardener's Calendar: Get Your Mower Out of The Shed.

When Fred's super deluxe leaf blower blew up yet again, he wondered where global deforestation is when you want it,

Digging.

"Sometimes Bob just needs a little motivation to get things done around here!"

Dispose of unproductive fruit trees.

"When the heck did leaf blowers become grass blowers?!"

Man mowing lawn that grows quicker then he can cut it!

"We're going to need a bigger rake."

"Sorry, but no. I can't lend you a student to help clean up your yard."

Shoot, I forgot about that underground sprinkler.

"You, my tenacious weed, are trespassing!"

Leaves.

"Don't be fooled. Chaos reigns."

"Honest, Dad, somethin's wrong with the lawnmower." "You look fine to me. When you finish the lawn and pullin weeds feel free to wash the car and paint the house."

Hedge Car

Lawn Mowers - Loud/Louder/Loudest

Bazzini & Sons Lawn Service: 'We don't cut corners'.

I work all day landscaping. I'm too tired to do all the yard work at home. Teddy, you're big enough to use my power tools. I know exactly who to call for help. Tap tap tap. Not the power tool I was referring to.

'I can't cut the grass until I find the lawnmower and I can't find the lawnmower until I cut the grass!'

The first sign of spring is landscapers driving by and laughing at my unkempt lawn.

'Get your mitts off my leaves!!'