Yard Designer Gifts

Yeah, well, I think your lawn ornament is offensive!

"He can't decide which one he likes best. . .His leaf blower, his weed wacker, or his metal detector."

"I can't believe how great my life is now: We used to live in an apartment, but now, I have my own garden..."

It's a Whole Field of Paisley!

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

Gardener clipping topiary stairs

Gardener

Palms. When fully grown that species will provide some nice shade in your your yard. Fronds with benefits.

I hate deer! What do you have to repel them? They're awful. I've got fences. Sprays. Decoys. Tree's Tree Nursery. I'll takes these. Anything to get rid of the varmints. Ring him up, Twig. I don't know why you are so down on deer. They've been very good to you! Anti-deer.

"This the first time you guys ever installed an above-ground pool?"

Planting seeds in garden - broad beans and jelly beans.

"You've just got to have the biggest and the best, have'nt you?!"

"He loves his leaf blower."

"I think I picked the wrong spot to plant that apple tree."

'Wait, this isn't Monet's garden, it's Mondrian's.'

Man looks at huge dinosaur fossil in garden, saying: 'It looks great in the rockery, but don't you think you should call the Natural History Museum?'

Beginning Yarder.

Weeds

'There are some good things about a vegetable garden. Dirt at your fingertips, for instance.'

Lawn Order. It's a landscaping show about maintaining a tidy yard.

'I don't make house calls. My mom won't let me leave the yard.'

Digging.

Burt was a true artist and conservationist. He recycled his beer cans...Making an ornate garden wall and rockery.

"You see a bunny rabbit in the clouds. I see mom telling me to mow the lawn."

"Ooh, another unsuspecting victim."

"Sometimes Bob just needs a little motivation to get things done around here!"

'He took a fetching class.'

'Don't wear that shirt in the garden dear. Roses don't fit in with my planting scheme'

"Well, since his retirement from British Aerospace the only thing he's managed to do is build a bird table

'It's that damned gnome that attracts them!'

Topiary: When the written word isn't enough

"We're going to need a bigger rake."

'Like I'm going to give this up to migrate.'

"When the heck did leaf blowers become grass blowers?!"

Garden sprinkler in the form of a classical statue