Yard Warriors Gifts

'There's a warning label on the handle.'

Cat in a tank...

'We use to tiptoe through the tulips. . . now we just waddle through the weeds.'

I hate deer! What do you have to repel them? They're awful. I've got fences. Sprays. Decoys. Tree's Tree Nursery. I'll takes these. Anything to get rid of the varmints. Ring him up, Twig. I don't know why you are so down on deer. They've been very good to you! Anti-deer.

"He loves his leaf blower."

Man with raked leaves on wall plaques.

'Daniel! How many times have I told you not to bury that in the back yard! I'm going to be late for work!'

'Told you to get your mower fixed.'

"Must get a longer cable."

'Since he bought the leaf blower I hardly ever see him.'

"Beware of God"

Mr. Cranky Pants Plants A Garden Part 9

"Dad, can we please just buy a week wacker?"

When Fred's super deluxe leaf blower blew up yet again, he wondered where global deforestation is when you want it,

Garden Talk - "I've decided to do some muck spreading."

So those are your 'weapons of mass destruction? - Slugs?

"Can't wait to see the look on his face when we put these back on the tree."

"Sometimes Bob just needs a little motivation to get things done around here!"

'Say, aren't those the same weeds that came up last year?'

"What a magnificent display of fall foliage – a blessing to behold." "*!#@!%* leaves!..."

"We're going to need a bigger rake."

Man mowing lawn that grows quicker then he can cut it!

"Fred's a man for all seasons. The lawn still needs mowing but he's set for leaf blowing."

"Honest, Dad, somethin's wrong with the lawnmower." "You look fine to me. When you finish the lawn and pullin weeds feel free to wash the car and paint the house."

Boy: 'DAD, the lawnmower's started SMOKING again!'

"You, my tenacious weed, are trespassing!"

"It came... it grew... it made Nana say bad words... 'Ow! You rotten #@!!×!' The invasion of the thistle"

"The white powder is supposed to stop me, but I find it makes the leaves more delicious than ever."

' ... or you could park it near the Dynamite Shack at Klutz Construction.'

"That's one hole filled, only about three or four more to go."

Bazzini & Sons Lawn Service: 'We don't cut corners'.

"At least they all fell down at once. . ."

"I'm taking back control of my borders!!"

I work all day landscaping. I'm too tired to do all the yard work at home. Teddy, you're big enough to use my power tools. I know exactly who to call for help. Tap tap tap. Not the power tool I was referring to.

"Billy? He told me he was going to help you rake leaves."