Worship Gifts

Super Bowl Sunday sermon: "Is it better to kick off or receive?"

'Your prayer is important to us. Please stay on your knees for the next available God.'

'You're in luck. The dog ate my sermon.'

"Hold on there, didn't we just do this last week?"

"The minister is known to do a mic drop after a particularly good sermon."

'You've all been whining a lot lately, so this week's sermon is from the 'Book of Lamentations'....'

Next Sunday - Rap Mass! 'I thought we reached the limit when we had that jazz mass.'

'You've all been whining a lot lately, so this week's sermon is from the 'Book of Lamentations'....'

'The service is over, Ed. You have to wake them up.'

'I think I'd change the title, Ed.'

'Great sermon! Thanks for not mentioning me by name.'

'All may have sinned, Reverend, but all have not fallen short.'

'This is my grandmother. She's getting a faith lift this week.'

Applause

Amen Corner: 'I say 'Aeemeen'...'Aeeemeeen'...'Aeeeeeemeeen'.'

Using dogs as greeters at church was a failed experiment.

"Oh my god! Is nothing sacred."

'I think the vicar's been radicalised.'

Yonder: Roll Call Every 15 Min.

"A real old fashioned fire and brimstone message today Preacher."

"Great sermon! - When it comes to sin, you sure know what you're talking about!"

Drive-Thru Church Service

"Just because you think someone is praying a long time does not give you the right and try to end it with a loud amen."

Pastor Andy's pet peeves finally get the better of him.

Matins 10 AM Open Pulpit

"Look, don't 'Amen' me, and I won't 'Amen' you."

"Like the boy scouts, Preacher; always prepared."

"Ten, night, eight, seven. . . ."

"We're testing a new virtual reality praise & worship system for the satellite campus."

"Let us select the fire folder, double-click the brimstone icon, and begin."

"I haven't seen you in church lately, Mr. Smedly..."

Please follow safe worship practices.

Priest and mobile

"I'm thinking that guitar is not appropriate for the worship band."

Pray