Worship Service Gifts

'It helps with reception.'

"Hue More Church Candlelight mass 7:00pm - 8:00pm"

"Whose idea was it to start with the Hallelujah chorus?"

'Can we sit in the balcony today? Huh? Can we?'

"...and I, Pastor Smith...preaching to you now from this pulpit, speak to you from experience about the 'strong-willed' child...BELIEVE me!"

"Can the folks in the nose-bleed section hear me alright?!"

"Life is very fragile so we should handle it with 'prayer'."

That feeling when you know the preacher is talking directly to you.

How's my sermon. . .

"It would be great if you could turn the smoke machine down a little during worship..."

R.C.I.A.

"Remember that it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of Heaven

"Dearly beloved, and others..."

"That was a long three hours! I didn't know you had an extended service plan."

"Pastor Bob is the leader of the flock, son, not the herd."

Next Sunday - Rap Mass! 'I thought we reached the limit when we had that jazz mass.'

Applause

'Our worship space is quite large, Roger, but sanctuary committee will do nicely.'

Regular Sermons - Fire & Brimstone Sermons

Church: Open Sundays

"You must forgive me, I seem to have misplaced my spectacles... Does the best man have the ring?"

When the traditional and contemporary services overlap.

'Look at all of God's children. Then again, they might be just thousands of tiny, little circles.'

"We're testing a new virtual reality praise & worship system for the satellite campus."

"A real old fashioned fire and brimstone message today Preacher."

How's my Sermon . . .

"The wages of sin are ... pretty damn attractive."

"I'm afraid the diagnosis isn't good."

'Are you putting on your Sunday Best, Felix?'

'I'd like to attract them with dynamic preaching, but I'm not above luring them with sugar.'

The worship singer suspects someone doesn't appreciate his talent after finding his mic muted for the 3rd time.

Male On Sunday

"Look, don't 'Amen' me, and I won't 'Amen' you."

Come To Church Today and Beat the Christmas Rush.

Churchwarden Talking to Rector