Worship Pillows

Super Bowl Sunday sermon: "Is it better to kick off or receive?"

'Your prayer is important to us. Please stay on your knees for the next available God.'

'These beat Facebook friends any time ...'

'You're in luck. The dog ate my sermon.'

'You've all been whining a lot lately, so this week's sermon is from the 'Book of Lamentations'....'

Next Sunday - Rap Mass! 'I thought we reached the limit when we had that jazz mass.'

'You've all been whining a lot lately, so this week's sermon is from the 'Book of Lamentations'....'

"The minister is known to do a mic drop after a particularly good sermon."

"Hold on there, didn't we just do this last week?"

'This is my grandmother. She's getting a faith lift this week.'

'All may have sinned, Reverend, but all have not fallen short.'

'Great sermon! Thanks for not mentioning me by name.'

Applause

Amen Corner: 'I say 'Aeemeen'...'Aeeemeeen'...'Aeeeeeemeeen'.'

'I think I'd change the title, Ed.'

'The service is over, Ed. You have to wake them up.'

Using dogs as greeters at church was a failed experiment.

'I think the vicar's been radicalised.'

"Oh my god! Is nothing sacred."

Pastor Andy's pet peeves finally get the better of him.

"Just because you think someone is praying a long time does not give you the right and try to end it with a loud amen."

Drive-Thru Church Service

"Great sermon! - When it comes to sin, you sure know what you're talking about!"

"A real old fashioned fire and brimstone message today Preacher."

"It would be great if you could turn the smoke machine down a little during worship..."

"Don't forget to turn on the wifi before the contemporary service."

Matins 10 AM Open Pulpit

Yonder: Roll Call Every 15 Min.

'Not another powerpoint sermon!'

"Look, don't 'Amen' me, and I won't 'Amen' you."

"Like the boy scouts, Preacher; always prepared."

"Ten, night, eight, seven. . . ."

"We're testing a new virtual reality praise & worship system for the satellite campus."

"Let us select the fire folder, double-click the brimstone icon, and begin."

"Since you can't attend every Sunday, couldn't you least like us on Facebook?"