Worship Wit Seeker Pillows

Two doors at the church, one labelled cry room the other snore room.

"...and for today only, you'll get 10% off all tithing!"

Drive-thru Church

"It would be great if you could turn the smoke machine down a little during worship..."

'I don't like to brag, but I'm the guy who coined the phrase, 'Honey, I'm Home'.'

Graph to find your IQ

Punch Drunk

Airport

K9 Literati.

Your resume is only 8 words long! You're hired!

Church: Open Sundays

"Things will get bad... then there will be an election... then things will get worse."

'I like it. It's bigger than life.'

The worship singer suspects someone doesn't appreciate his talent after finding his mic muted for the 3rd time.

"...And for anyone who forgot to bring something for the collection..."

'You know, they call me 'Stinkin' rich' because I even have an employee who takes a shower for me every morning!'

'This sermon will run a little longer because it's a sermon about sermons that run a little long.'

"You think you're pretty holy, huh!"

Matins 10 AM Open Pulpit

Broad Minded

Witty Remarks You Can Never Remember To Say During The Meeting.

Boarding House

"Does my brain look big in this?"

Law office sign: "Defending the citizen's entitlement to folly since 1935"

"Before I start today's sermon let's take 5 minutes to view the highlights reel from the last 3 Sundays..."

'Hey, the Preacher is talking about you Dad.'

Square Yard

Bored Room

'Money DOES make me happy.'

"What d'you say we try sneaking out before the last one?"

'In life I was scorned for worshipping the Almighty Dollar.'

Church Parking