Worship Wit Seeker Pillows

Two doors at the church, one labelled cry room the other snore room.

"What? You broke number 3 already?"

"...and for today only, you'll get 10% off all tithing!"

Drive-thru Church

"It would be great if you could turn the smoke machine down a little during worship..."

'I don't like to brag, but I'm the guy who coined the phrase, 'Honey, I'm Home'.'

K9 Literati.

Airport

Punch Drunk

Graph to find your IQ

Your resume is only 8 words long! You're hired!

"Sure. I know of a haystack on the edge of town where you'll be safe until the heat dies down."

"Things will get bad... then there will be an election... then things will get worse."

"...And for anyone who forgot to bring something for the collection..."

'You know, they call me 'Stinkin' rich' because I even have an employee who takes a shower for me every morning!'

The worship singer suspects someone doesn't appreciate his talent after finding his mic muted for the 3rd time.

Church: Open Sundays

'I like it. It's bigger than life.'

'This sermon will run a little longer because it's a sermon about sermons that run a little long.'

"You think you're pretty holy, huh!"

Boarding House

Broad Minded

Matins 10 AM Open Pulpit

"Does my brain look big in this?"

Witty Remarks You Can Never Remember To Say During The Meeting.

Law office sign: "Defending the citizen's entitlement to folly since 1935"

You're too enamored of wealth, Al. As it says in the Bible, "It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle that for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God." Is that a regular Camel, or does it have a filter tip?

"Before I start today's sermon let's take 5 minutes to view the highlights reel from the last 3 Sundays..."

'Hey, the Preacher is talking about you Dad.'

Bored Room

'Money DOES make me happy.'

Square Yard

"What d'you say we try sneaking out before the last one?"

I'm tired of blessings in disguise--if it's al the same to you, I want one I can recognize immediately!

'In life I was scorned for worshipping the Almighty Dollar.'