Worrier's Club Gifts

Worry tank

They hated me.

Nervous Oral Testing

"Why is it always me that has to get up just as I'm falling asleep to do things I forgot."

Mental Wellness Center. Some folks coming here are working on multiple issues. Earlier, I saw a germaphobe with a fear of flying. Using an airplane bathroom must be completely out of the question! There's a narcissist with math anxiety and a fear of public speaking. He hopes one day he can stand in front of a large audience and count all the wonderful qualities he believes he has. And that guy has claustrophobia combined with a fear of success. Looks like he's going through a rough period

"Returning to standard time is always difficult. I gain an hour of worrying."

Things that go beep in the night.

Thinking and thinking backwards.

'Life isn't fair! Most of the stuff I worried about over the years never even happened!'

'I'm not convinced you need tranquillizers to switch phone provider.'

"It used to be that if you worried about unseen forces you were considered paranoid. Now you're a security expert."

"But why not be happy about all the diseases you don't have?"

Nervous Kid sees the dentist's toolkit.

Concern Chart

'Aunt Joan and Uncle Wally took Luci to the emergency room.'

No Action Comics

"It's just until the air conditioning in our house is fixed."

'You worry too much. Next time something goes wrong, try blaming someone else.'

Things can only get worse...

I didn't experience any of the side effects listed in the enclosed literature. Should I be concerned?'

'Aren't you done yet? This is taking forever! I should have went somewhere else!...'

'Nothing to be alarmed about Mrs.Harvey, kids do this sort of things all the time. I'm sure whatever your Jimmy's gotten lodged up there, we can get it out.'

"I can't believe school starts next week. The first math exam is gonna be a killer! Then in six weeks, report cards! I'll probably be grounded!"

'You can't take it with you so I'm sending it on ahead.'

"So apart from stop being 'lying hypocritical uncaring bastards who'd promise anything to get back in power'...is there anything else we might do to secure your vote?"

Pre-Traumatic Stress Disorder

"This is where I get most of my negative thinking done."

"You should make a resolution not to worry about the little things..."

Golden handshake old redundancy port.

'Just taking precautions in case the plumber doesn't come before the house sinks!'

'It's only hypochondria, but it's a very virulent FORM of it.'

JB doesn't like to see anybody that's stressful.

'Someday, son, all this will be divided among your ex-wives.'

"You'd tell me if I was genetically modified?"

'I'm worried about job security and I don't even have a job yet!'