Workplace Socialite Gifts

"Not with them. They only talk about their chronic health ailments."

"I really enjoyed my first day on the job, guys!"

Every morning the office gossip was cascaded down...

"Reggie is retired, but he still goes to work to play the office sports pool."

"My email is down... talk to me."

Seniors Snooker Tournament.

"I wasn't the smartest guy in the room, but I was the loudest."

#Whyneighborsdon'tknowtheirneighbors

'A Ball at the Mansion House'

Children's Party

"Another flue shot, Larry.

"If we're a team, the manager should take the heat!"

A little sharpener before dinner, darling?

"'Mr. Evans,' she said to me with that adorable smile, 'I think you're the nicest boy in the entire old-boy network.'"

"Whoa! Wrong bar?"

Rod was unimpressed with the party - Sure, he was surrounded by bikini-clad lovelies, there was free champagne and a 20-foot jelly, but much to his chagrin, there was a distinct lack of cheese and pineapple chunks.

'Look at him with another business model on his arm.'

"Bob choked on a spoon of caviar while he was on skiing vacation in St. Moritz."

'Fill 'er up Fred!'

"Your cubicle is fun, too. Now if you'll excuse me, I was invited to Jim's cubicle."

'Dr. Young is a professor at one of the nation's leading party schools.'

'Ah, beer! And the bringer of beer!'

"Brian's considering the optics."

A day at the races

'Everyone here likes a big band, right?'

"I never get a girls name tattooed on a first date."

'Can I get you anything? Coffee? A biscuit?...A lift home?'

Today's Buzz word...

"Nothing beats work events to mingle, build relationships, and backstab fellow colleagues."

"Please try not to offer expert analysis."

"This is the Upper East Side, sir. We don’t sell ‘well’ vodka."

"Francophobe meet Francophile."

"Either you're emitting the scent of power, or your phone battery is about to explode."

'Oh, we've met. We were once married to one another.'

"Ignoring your workmates is NOT a breach of the new antisocial behaviour laws."