Sporting Socialite Gifts

''Socker' on the brain.'

Seniors Snooker Tournament.

"May I have this arythmic flail?"

#Whyneighborsdon'tknowtheirneighbors

'A Ball at the Mansion House'

'Fancy a game of five-a-side, boys?'

Children's Party

"Another flue shot, Larry.

Why weren't we born rich instead of beautiful?

Every morning the office gossip was cascaded down...

A little sharpener before dinner, darling?

"'Mr. Evans,' she said to me with that adorable smile, 'I think you're the nicest boy in the entire old-boy network.'"

"Whoa! Wrong bar?"

LEMONADE, 'Actually, I hate places like this.'

Rod was unimpressed with the party - Sure, he was surrounded by bikini-clad lovelies, there was free champagne and a 20-foot jelly, but much to his chagrin, there was a distinct lack of cheese and pineapple chunks.

"Bob choked on a spoon of caviar while he was on skiing vacation in St. Moritz."

'Ah, beer! And the bringer of beer!'

"Brian's considering the optics."

'Everyone here likes a big band, right?'

"I never get a girls name tattooed on a first date."

A day at the races

'Fill 'er up Fred!'

'Can I get you anything? Coffee? A biscuit?...A lift home?'

Today's Buzz word...

"There's a notice from the co-op board. Would we be interested in playing softball on the Great Lawn?"

"What might you have written that I might say I've read?"

"Francophobe meet Francophile."

"Either you're emitting the scent of power, or your phone battery is about to explode."

"Your party just totally blew us away."

'Can anybody here separate their fingers and if so will you pour?'

"This is the Upper East Side, sir. We don’t sell ‘well’ vodka."

"Please try not to offer expert analysis."

"I want you two to meet some people who just bought a fabulous five-story brownstone with a garden in Troy, New York."

'Oh, we've met. We were once married to one another.'

Health organizations doubt the benefits of skiing holidays.