Sporting Socialite Gifts

''Socker' on the brain.'

Seniors Snooker Tournament.

"May I have this arythmic flail?"

#Whyneighborsdon'tknowtheirneighbors

'A Ball at the Mansion House'

'Fancy a game of five-a-side, boys?'

"Another flue shot, Larry.

Children's Party

Every morning the office gossip was cascaded down...

Why weren't we born rich instead of beautiful?

A little sharpener before dinner, darling?

"'Mr. Evans,' she said to me with that adorable smile, 'I think you're the nicest boy in the entire old-boy network.'"

LEMONADE, 'Actually, I hate places like this.'

"Whoa! Wrong bar?"

"Bob choked on a spoon of caviar while he was on skiing vacation in St. Moritz."

Rod was unimpressed with the party - Sure, he was surrounded by bikini-clad lovelies, there was free champagne and a 20-foot jelly, but much to his chagrin, there was a distinct lack of cheese and pineapple chunks.

'Fill 'er up Fred!'

"Brian's considering the optics."

A day at the races

"I never get a girls name tattooed on a first date."

'Ah, beer! And the bringer of beer!'

'Everyone here likes a big band, right?'

'Can I get you anything? Coffee? A biscuit?...A lift home?'

Today's Buzz word...

"This is the Upper East Side, sir. We don’t sell ‘well’ vodka."

"Imogene is just back from an extended trip through the Navajo country."

Health organizations doubt the benefits of skiing holidays.

'Can anybody here separate their fingers and if so will you pour?'

"There's a notice from the co-op board. Would we be interested in playing softball on the Great Lawn?"

"Please try not to offer expert analysis."

"That's what I love about the game - it's so social."

"Francophobe meet Francophile."

"What might you have written that I might say I've read?"

'Oh, we've met. We were once married to one another.'

"Your party just totally blew us away."