Office Socialite Gifts

'I stopped working at home because I missed hanging around the water cooler.'

"I thought we were soul mates, too, so imagine my surprise to find that my actual soul mate is Nicole in accounting."

"It's a vice-president thing, Berger. You wouldn't understand."

"The robot you sold me is cheaper and more precise than my human workers, but I can't discuss the football with it and it doesn't fetch my coffee!"

Live water cooler.

"Nothing beats work events to mingle, build relationships, and backstab fellow colleagues."

'If you ask me, Dulin is too dedicated to this job.'

Thanks boss. Jamming our cell phones was the best thing that ever happened to my social life!

"Your cubicle is fun, too. Now if you'll excuse me, I was invited to Jim's cubicle."

"My boss has a beautiful mind. His buns are toasty too!"

"If we're a team, the manager should take the heat!"

"I wasn't the smartest guy in the room, but I was the loudest."

Welcome to the team!

"Ignoring your workmates is NOT a breach of the new antisocial behaviour laws."

The Xmas Party is not the place to number-crunch with the boss.

'Hi, I'm will from Marketing. Want to be friends?'

Cloud Cuckoo Land, "Look, our carpet is ruined. You should've made sure your workmates were housetrained"

'It's frightening to think how much hair you can lose in 2 years.'

'His ego is out of control.'

'The boss says I should be more passionate about my job - we make WIDGETS!'

"My email is down... talk to me."

"I prefer working remotely, except when there's a free lunch."

"I can't wait for Sandy to show up. She's such a character."

Barrier around water cooler

"I'm kind of the Edward Snowden of who around here is sleeping together."

Seniors Snooker Tournament.

'A Ball at the Mansion House'

"Another flue shot, Larry.

Children's Party

Every morning the office gossip was cascaded down...

A little sharpener before dinner, darling?

"'Mr. Evans,' she said to me with that adorable smile, 'I think you're the nicest boy in the entire old-boy network.'"

"Bob choked on a spoon of caviar while he was on skiing vacation in St. Moritz."

"Whoa! Wrong bar?"

Rod was unimpressed with the party - Sure, he was surrounded by bikini-clad lovelies, there was free champagne and a 20-foot jelly, but much to his chagrin, there was a distinct lack of cheese and pineapple chunks.