Coffee Shop Socialite Gifts

Coffee House - "Hyper Hour 6-7"

"I always order the venti, 'for tomorrow we may die.'"

"My email is down... talk to me."

"I wasn't the smartest guy in the room, but I was the loudest."

#Whyneighborsdon'tknowtheirneighbors

The Classy Dog: 'Dine & dance hotdogs: '50 cents a dance'.

"If we're a team, the manager should take the heat!"

"I don'y know about you guys, but I don't feel like I've lost one goddamn bit of my feminity."

"Your cubicle is fun, too. Now if you'll excuse me, I was invited to Jim's cubicle."

"I didn't even know Smallville had a set!"

"I never get a girls name tattooed on a first date."

"Virginia Woolf meets 'Car Talk.'"

"Nothing beats work events to mingle, build relationships, and backstab fellow colleagues."

"Ignoring your workmates is NOT a breach of the new antisocial behaviour laws."

Come on, honey. The neighborhood potlucks are fun. Fun?! Everyone brings something simple. Totally stress-free. Ha! Last year you made lemon-stuffed slow roasted sea bass with guacamole cilantro chutney. I won't do that again! Guacamole is over. Avocado grapefruit coulis will work.

Live water cooler.

"I prefer working remotely, except when there's a free lunch."

"Being nice to people on the way up didn't work!"

"I thought we were soul mates, too, so imagine my surprise to find that my actual soul mate is Nicole in accounting."

'How many shots did you have at the 19th hole?'

The Xmas Party is not the place to number-crunch with the boss.

'Hi, I'm will from Marketing. Want to be friends?'

"Did anyone drop a roll of hundreds? Because I found the rubber band."

Barrier around water cooler

'You look like a fun guy!'

"Things have gotten bad here. There's talk of a war with another gated community."

'Oh great. The neighbors are worming their way into another BBQ.'

"The robot you sold me is cheaper and more precise than my human workers, but I can't discuss the football with it and it doesn't fetch my coffee!"

'If you ask me, Dulin is too dedicated to this job.'

'And this is Mario Batali. Of course, he's not the Mario Batali.'

"What do you think our husbands talk about when they're down the pub?"

'Can Spot come out and play?'

'He follows your tweets. That's how God knows everything you do.'

Cloud Cuckoo Land, "Look, our carpet is ruined. You should've made sure your workmates were housetrained"

Sermon Today: Include God In Your Next Selfie.