Supermarket Socialite Gifts

"Carmen, how are you today? Wait! Don't tell me! You're as wonderful and as beautiful and charming as ever!"

"My email is down... talk to me."

Seniors Snooker Tournament.

"May I have this arythmic flail?"

"I wasn't the smartest guy in the room, but I was the loudest."

#Whyneighborsdon'tknowtheirneighbors

The Classy Dog: 'Dine & dance hotdogs: '50 cents a dance'.

Every morning the office gossip was cascaded down...

"We're going to the park to size up the competition."

"If we're a team, the manager should take the heat!"

"This is my last day. My parents found a more expensive school on the East Side."

'Everyone here likes a big band, right?'

"Your cubicle is fun, too. Now if you'll excuse me, I was invited to Jim's cubicle."

"Nothing beats work events to mingle, build relationships, and backstab fellow colleagues."

"Ignoring your workmates is NOT a breach of the new antisocial behaviour laws."

Live water cooler.

High School Prom Expenses

"My son took away my license." "Too many hit and runs." "Too many birthdays?"

"I prefer working remotely, except when there's a free lunch."

"I thought we were soul mates, too, so imagine my surprise to find that my actual soul mate is Nicole in accounting."

'I have kindergarten burnout!'

'I got mine at a garage sale for only 99 cents.'

The Xmas Party is not the place to number-crunch with the boss.

'Hi, I'm will from Marketing. Want to be friends?'

"Did anyone drop a roll of hundreds? Because I found the rubber band."

'You look like a fun guy!'

'I don't care if the pot roast was a little dry, you had no business condemning poor Gloria to hell!'

"Reggie is retired, but he still goes to work to play the office sports pool."

Barrier around water cooler

"Shall we go talk with those au pairs?"

"Dude has got his s**t together!"

Over 60's night - "You have beautiful teeth. What do you soak them in?"

"The robot you sold me is cheaper and more precise than my human workers, but I can't discuss the football with it and it doesn't fetch my coffee!"

Christmas Special Shopping Trolley.

'If you ask me, Dulin is too dedicated to this job.'