Tiny Socialite Gifts

'I have kindergarten burnout!'

'I've got to go, Mom -- my playgroup called an emergency meeting.'

"May I have this arythmic flail?"

"He was overly socialized as a puppy."

#Whyneighborsdon'tknowtheirneighbors

"Another flue shot, Larry.

Children's Party

A little sharpener before dinner, darling?

"'Mr. Evans,' she said to me with that adorable smile, 'I think you're the nicest boy in the entire old-boy network.'"

"He's so into social media that he's become anti-social."

'If you'll excuse me, I'm going to work the room.'

"Bob choked on a spoon of caviar while he was on skiing vacation in St. Moritz."

"Whoa! Wrong bar?"

Online marriage ceremony.

LEMONADE, 'Actually, I hate places like this.'

Rod was unimpressed with the party - Sure, he was surrounded by bikini-clad lovelies, there was free champagne and a 20-foot jelly, but much to his chagrin, there was a distinct lack of cheese and pineapple chunks.

"Happy thanksgiving!"

A day at the races

'Fill 'er up Fred!'

"I didn't even know Smallville had a set!"

"I think it’s time we started holding other kids’ hands."

'Ah, beer! And the bringer of beer!'

"Brian's considering the optics."

'Can I get you anything? Coffee? A biscuit?...A lift home?'

Dog Teenagers

"Please try not to offer expert analysis."

"I want you two to meet some people who just bought a fabulous five-story brownstone with a garden in Troy, New York."

"This is the Upper East Side, sir. We don’t sell ‘well’ vodka."

'Oh, we've met. We were once married to one another.'

"Either you're emitting the scent of power, or your phone battery is about to explode."

"Francophobe meet Francophile."

"What might you have written that I might say I've read?"

'Can anybody here separate their fingers and if so will you pour?'

"Your party just totally blew us away."

'Dear, of course no one can tell you what they think of the wine, you haven't told them how much it cost yet.'