Mini Socialite Gifts

"You're old enough to learn how to work a party."

#Whyneighborsdon'tknowtheirneighbors

"Another flue shot, Larry.

Children's Party

A little sharpener before dinner, darling?

"'Mr. Evans,' she said to me with that adorable smile, 'I think you're the nicest boy in the entire old-boy network.'"

"He's so into social media that he's become anti-social."

'If you'll excuse me, I'm going to work the room.'

"Bob choked on a spoon of caviar while he was on skiing vacation in St. Moritz."

LEMONADE, 'Actually, I hate places like this.'

"Whoa! Wrong bar?"

Online marriage ceremony.

"So you can tweet. That's why you have to learn the alphabet."

Rod was unimpressed with the party - Sure, he was surrounded by bikini-clad lovelies, there was free champagne and a 20-foot jelly, but much to his chagrin, there was a distinct lack of cheese and pineapple chunks.

"Happy thanksgiving!"

A day at the races

"I didn't even know Smallville had a set!"

'Fill 'er up Fred!'

"I think it’s time we started holding other kids’ hands."

'Ah, beer! And the bringer of beer!'

"Brian's considering the optics."

'Can I get you anything? Coffee? A biscuit?...A lift home?'

Dog Teenagers

"I want you two to meet some people who just bought a fabulous five-story brownstone with a garden in Troy, New York."

'Oh, we've met. We were once married to one another.'

"This is the Upper East Side, sir. We don’t sell ‘well’ vodka."

"Your party just totally blew us away."

"Please try not to offer expert analysis."

"Either you're emitting the scent of power, or your phone battery is about to explode."

"Francophobe meet Francophile."

"What might you have written that I might say I've read?"

'Can anybody here separate their fingers and if so will you pour?'

'Dear, of course no one can tell you what they think of the wine, you haven't told them how much it cost yet.'

'Forget the artwork who made the martinis?!'