Tiny Socialites Gifts

"I think it’s time we started holding other kids’ hands."

"He was overly socialized as a puppy."

#Whyneighborsdon'tknowtheirneighbors

'A Ball at the Mansion House'

"So, what do you do for play?"

The Modern Novel.

"Another flue shot, Larry.

Children's Party

A little sharpener before dinner, darling?

"'Mr. Evans,' she said to me with that adorable smile, 'I think you're the nicest boy in the entire old-boy network.'"

"He's so into social media that he's become anti-social."

Rod was unimpressed with the party - Sure, he was surrounded by bikini-clad lovelies, there was free champagne and a 20-foot jelly, but much to his chagrin, there was a distinct lack of cheese and pineapple chunks.

"Whoa! Wrong bar?"

"Bob choked on a spoon of caviar while he was on skiing vacation in St. Moritz."

Online marriage ceremony.

'If you'll excuse me, I'm going to work the room.'

"Happy thanksgiving!"

A day at the races

'Fill 'er up Fred!'

"I didn't even know Smallville had a set!"

'Ah, beer! And the bringer of beer!'

"Brian's considering the optics."

'Can I get you anything? Coffee? A biscuit?...A lift home?'

Dog Teenagers

'Can anybody here separate their fingers and if so will you pour?'

"Please try not to offer expert analysis."

"This is the Upper East Side, sir. We don’t sell ‘well’ vodka."

"Either you're emitting the scent of power, or your phone battery is about to explode."

"Francophobe meet Francophile."

"What might you have written that I might say I've read?"

"I want you two to meet some people who just bought a fabulous five-story brownstone with a garden in Troy, New York."

Lobster a la Riseholme!

"Your party just totally blew us away."

'Oh, we've met. We were once married to one another.'

'Dear, of course no one can tell you what they think of the wine, you haven't told them how much it cost yet.'