Mini Socialite T-Shirts

"You're old enough to learn how to work a party."

#Whyneighborsdon'tknowtheirneighbors

The Modern Novel.

"Another flue shot, Larry.

Children's Party

A little sharpener before dinner, darling?

"'Mr. Evans,' she said to me with that adorable smile, 'I think you're the nicest boy in the entire old-boy network.'"

"He's so into social media that he's become anti-social."

Rod was unimpressed with the party - Sure, he was surrounded by bikini-clad lovelies, there was free champagne and a 20-foot jelly, but much to his chagrin, there was a distinct lack of cheese and pineapple chunks.

'If you'll excuse me, I'm going to work the room.'

"Whoa! Wrong bar?"

"So you can tweet. That's why you have to learn the alphabet."

"Bob choked on a spoon of caviar while he was on skiing vacation in St. Moritz."

Online marriage ceremony.

LEMONADE, 'Actually, I hate places like this.'

"Happy thanksgiving!"

'Fill 'er up Fred!'

A day at the races

"I think it’s time we started holding other kids’ hands."

"I didn't even know Smallville had a set!"

'Ah, beer! And the bringer of beer!'

"Brian's considering the optics."

'Can I get you anything? Coffee? A biscuit?...A lift home?'

Dog Teenagers

"Francophobe meet Francophile."

"Either you're emitting the scent of power, or your phone battery is about to explode."

"This is the Upper East Side, sir. We don’t sell ‘well’ vodka."

"I want you two to meet some people who just bought a fabulous five-story brownstone with a garden in Troy, New York."

"Please try not to offer expert analysis."

"What might you have written that I might say I've read?"

'Oh, we've met. We were once married to one another.'

'Can anybody here separate their fingers and if so will you pour?'

"Your party just totally blew us away."

'Dear, of course no one can tell you what they think of the wine, you haven't told them how much it cost yet.'

Things I didn't know about before 2020.