Workplace Lounger Gifts

"This is my furlough day. I just came in to escape the yard work at home."

'The history of Glue. It's impossible to put down.'

'Harold, when was the last time you cleaned the pool?!'

Proud of herself for "never owning a tv" Emily watches eight episodes of a mediocre tv show on her laptop while in bed.

Wasting away again in Cappuccinoville.

Blue Stockings

'Do you have any books on controlling little monsters?'

"I tried the C25k but prefer the 5k2C"

'...and talk about lazy!'

'Welcome home, Dear. Your dinner is in the popcorn bowl.'

"Writing that book was a real strain."

Unabridged Dictionary

"I'm not sure I like your working vacations."

'How can you bear to sit around doing nothing? You're right, I think I'll have a nap.'

'I'm able to live the American dream by getting paid in Euros, running my business form an offshore tax haven and getting European style universal health care.'

'I'd say the couch is contouring a bit TOO much to their bodies.'

Champagne and Oysters

'We've run out of one-man plays - why not make it up with the rest of the drama group?'

"Are you walking the dog? We live on the third floor!"

"It's called 'muscle confusion'. First, I put on my workout clothes, then I confuse my muscles by not working out."

"Time to spring-clean where I spent the entire winter."

"As a frequent flier, you'll be entitled to stay in our airport lounge for up to a week during delays."

'Here, you can have my fly trap.I already have one.'

Rest distracted by moles.

'Well played, sir.'

"Hi! Are you enjoying the peace and quiet?!"

Giraffe and mouse reading books: 'All Things Great' and 'All Things Small'.

Floating

"I'm afraid the jacuzzi is out of order madam"

"I really should have paid attention to everything I learned in Kindergarten."

"The president wants me to stay on as unemployed."

"Tell me boss, how is the holiday weather in Hawaii?"

Zerotasking