Workplace Design Gifts

"I miss the old cubicles."

Man to realtor: 'How much for a starter cubicle?'

"It's my interpretation of the open floor office."

"Office space is at a premium, we've had to rationalise."

"They'e redesigned our cubicles."

'If you ask me, they're carrying the virtual workplace a little too far.'

The side effect of the standing desk craze.

"We find this chair keeps our employees better focused."

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

The trend toward less formal offices began to gain steam.

'Germaine, what did you do with my desk?'

'What's wrong now?'

'It's a lateral move, you'll now be getting all of Kramer's work too.'

"There are no big jobs, only small machines."

"I was hoping there'd be no meetings here."

"Lost my job. But I'm pretty sure it's around here somewhere."

"Hiring someone to replace me and then expecting me to train him just doesn't sit well with me."

"This new chair has the smoothest 360 swivel action on the market!"

National Boss Monument.

'You'll get five paid sick days, plus an additional two when you're shedding your skin.'

"The boss likes people with strong convictions. You're hired."

'Yes, can I help you?'

"Wake up Thomas, it's not 2020. There's no Zoom camera to turn off to hide yourself."

'Bit of a staffing problem, Boss. We haven't got any left.'

"You're hired. Now, I'll show you your desk, the break room, and the dented wall you're allowed to beat your head against."

"Yes, social media's a great way to express your opinions - shame you feel 'ignored and unappreciated by an aloof, faceless boss' - but that's because I haven't a clue who you are or what you do around here!"

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

"He was orphaned at an early age and raised by two giant moths."

Torn-Off Mouse.

'Frankly, our dental plan bites.'

"Good morning Rudy. I suppose you're wondering why I've summond you....It's time for your annual performance review...."

"Brandon isn't adapting well to the open office concept."