Working In Maternity Gifts

Maternity ward "Watch out for sudden pops!"

'You see, Brad, I'm not just a highly polished career woman.'

"Helen brings home our second, third and fourth incomes."

'William, I've decided to go back to work so I can get a little rest during the day.'

"Great! I must be growing. The womb was less than half full last week."

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

Take the time to do something nice for yourself. Your kids will thank you. That is, if you ever decide to have them.

'I work two jobs and have three kids. At the end of the day I am exhausted. Do you have anything that is not sexy and just smells good.'

"Guys, can you use your Mommy-doesn't-want-to-know-I-exist voices?"

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

'She finds it really easy to juggle her kids with her career now she's joined the circus.'

Supermom.

"Pay more attention to me? I'm sorry, dear, but Mommy needs you to be more specific."

"Have you and Tim picked out a name for the career obstacle yet?"

Same Day Delivery: "I wish!"

"Can you juggle a household, three kids, and a career?"

Woman with kids at husbands office.

Balancing work and family

'Save us!'

"First break since 2008."

'Ever since I've started showing, my husband has affectionately called me 'Three Humps'...'

'I don't have time for throwing up.'

'Do I like kids? You bet I do: I deliver babies for a living...'

"No, Justin, I said, will you come to antenatal class with me."

"This should send the midwife off in a frenzy."

"Can I multi-task? As a single mom I'm both the bread-winner and bread-baker!"

'Sure, I'm a working mother - is there any other kind?'

"You know what they say, there's one born every minute!"

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supervisor's uniform!'

"Since he was born today he won't begin daycare until tomorrow."

'She's determined to combine a family and a career!'

"Let me put on my 'working' head."

'How soon can I return to work? About fifteen minutes ago.'

"If I turn it up I might get out of here quicker!"