Maternity Nurse Gifts

"Oh, that poor thing."

Too posh to push - Cesarean Clinic.

Welcome to the uterus. Please be seated. Your mother will be with you in nine months.

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

Though unplanned, it was clear to Jim and Tammy that this newborn was a blessing in disguise.

Baby's First Bungee Jump

Maternity nurse presenting newborn baby with big nose to father with big nose.

'Go right in, but I must warn you she's quite upset that you're so late.'

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

"Exactly how long is it since anyone came in to see you?"

Mosquito netting is the new black.

Maternity Wing Sign: Please Wait To Push

'Hey everybody, wake up! They're sending in the clowns!'

'Well done troops: Spring is over, we can have a break now...'

"Here He Is... Wait! You're Not Mrs. Rosales!"

Midwife is dousing to find the right baby.

Caution. Slippery when wet.

Nurse looking for the father of a black baby.

'We're not called midwives anymore. Europe insists that I be known as a midunmarried mother.'

Breakout at the Women's Prison Maternity Ward

'I can't wait to embarrass him when he's a teenager.'

'Do I like kids? You bet I do: I deliver babies for a living...'

"Congratulations! Your first?"

"If you're going to be all judgy, I'm just going to lie to you."

Where your mind & battle are los

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

Lady taking her little dog to the chemist with a cough

2021

A female patient in an exam room sees a sign that reads, 'Break glass in case of physician burnout'

'Medical school's been more challenging since the cadavers turned into zombies.'

'Houston, I'm prepared to land...'

"Boy, am I glad they finally hired more staff!"

"I don't think you're getting enough stress."

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

"His first out-of-body experience."