Prenatal Nurse Gifts

No kicking: 12-6 Mon-Sun

"Great! I must be growing. The womb was less than half full last week."

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

Pregnant lady being greeted by foetus.

"There's your son's heartbeat, and over here is the app he's developing."

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

'Do I like kids? You bet I do: I deliver babies for a living...'

So … you do a lot of yoga?

'It's a boy. He's healthy and coming along fine, but he may be a little crnkt at birth owing to his claustrophobia. He will have feminine tendencies but is not actually gay. In fact, he'll eventually develop a taste for hard liquor and trashy women...'

"Mum's biological clock is ticking away...OOPS!...my mistake. That's indigestion."

'I can't wait to embarrass him when he's a teenager.'

Clown Delivering Babies.

Caution. Slippery when wet.

Baby on Board

Birthing Ball

'This is a rarity in today's world. No corporate sponsorship signs in here.'

"All this stuff? I'm meeting for two now."

"Oh, that poor thing."

Push, push, push...

Welcome to the uterus. Please be seated. Your mother will be with you in nine months.

'Well done troops: Spring is over, we can have a break now...'

"No, dear, the baby didn't take a selfie. It's an ultrasound."

'What a coincidence....that's my mum's name to!'

"Please note nurse: healthy baby, next appointment in two weeks..."

'How far along are you?'

Little Dutch boy tends tulip plant

Birth of a superhero

Child Development: 'He's developing just fine, those babies in the commercials aren't really talking.'

'Well, it all started with a group hug.'

Maternity nurse presenting newborn baby with big nose to father with big nose.

Susan used her ingenious invention to carry on playing golf during the final stages of her pregnancy!

Maternity Wing Sign: Please Wait To Push

Open other end

Though unplanned, it was clear to Jim and Tammy that this newborn was a blessing in disguise.

'Another common mistake is to forget to take off the dirty nappy before putting the clean one on.'