Prenatal Specialist Gifts

GPs to be required to offer appointments in advance.

"Great! I must be growing. The womb was less than half full last week."

Pregnant lady being greeted by foetus.

"There's your son's heartbeat, and over here is the app he's developing."

"I'd better enjoy this while I can. It's the only home I'll own without a mortgage!"

No kicking: 12-6 Mon-Sun

So … you do a lot of yoga?

"I guess for me family planning is just a study in fertility."

'It's a boy. He's healthy and coming along fine, but he may be a little crnkt at birth owing to his claustrophobia. He will have feminine tendencies but is not actually gay. In fact, he'll eventually develop a taste for hard liquor and trashy women...'

"Sorry Tina, I won't be able to come over: Joey is finally asleep and I don't dare move..."

"Mum's biological clock is ticking away...OOPS!...my mistake. That's indigestion."

Radiology, Cardiology and Fertility Clinic.

"I didn't realise it could be so complicated!"

"Have you considered trying for a puppy?"

Baby on Board

"You need to stop pressing the snooze button on your biological clock."

"Leapfrog is the latest craze among the kids, but experts say it contribute to declining birthrates. Find out why � after the break!"

"All this stuff? I'm meeting for two now."

Man leaves sperm bank. Woman says: 'Thanks, do come again.'

"It's perfect for starting a family."

IVF assessment centre.

"No, dear, the baby didn't take a selfie. It's an ultrasound."

Three Parent Baby

Fertility clinic open day - Man holding balloons shaped like sperm.

Pregnancy Test

"Sir, the platoon suffered heavy casualties from a roadside IUD."

'And for Pete's sake, let's cut out out all this artificial insemination.'

Fertility Center.

'What a coincidence....that's my mum's name to!'

"We can make you more pregnant than you ever though possible."

'I warned you that the fertility drugs might have side effects.'

'And once we transfer the embryo, aspirate the follicles, and align your ovulation with the doctor's gold schedule, voila -- natures little miracle.'

"Please note nurse: healthy baby, next appointment in two weeks..."

Fertility Clinic - "Who wants to be mother?"

'How far along are you?'