Working In Maternity Pillows

Maternity ward "Watch out for sudden pops!"

'You see, Brad, I'm not just a highly polished career woman.'

"Helen brings home our second, third and fourth incomes."

'William, I've decided to go back to work so I can get a little rest during the day.'

"Great! I must be growing. The womb was less than half full last week."

'You call it a bra. I call it excess packaging.'

Take the time to do something nice for yourself. Your kids will thank you. That is, if you ever decide to have them.

"Guys, can you use your Mommy-doesn't-want-to-know-I-exist voices?"

'I work two jobs and have three kids. At the end of the day I am exhausted. Do you have anything that is not sexy and just smells good.'

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

Supermom.

'She finds it really easy to juggle her kids with her career now she's joined the circus.'

"Pay more attention to me? I'm sorry, dear, but Mommy needs you to be more specific."

"Have you and Tim picked out a name for the career obstacle yet?"

Same Day Delivery: "I wish!"

"Can you juggle a household, three kids, and a career?"

Woman with kids at husbands office.

Balancing work and family

"First break since 2008."

So … you do a lot of yoga?

'I don't have time for throwing up.'

"This should send the midwife off in a frenzy."

'Ever since I've started showing, my husband has affectionately called me 'Three Humps'...'

'Save us!'

"No, Justin, I said, will you come to antenatal class with me."

'Do I like kids? You bet I do: I deliver babies for a living...'

"Can I multi-task? As a single mom I'm both the bread-winner and bread-baker!"

'Sure, I'm a working mother - is there any other kind?'

"You know what they say, there's one born every minute!"

Batman's Baby

"Since he was born today he won't begin daycare until tomorrow."

'She's determined to combine a family and a career!'

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supervisor's uniform!'

"Let me put on my 'working' head."

'How soon can I return to work? About fifteen minutes ago.'