Woodland Warrior Gifts

"Nope. Looks like we're gonna have to use the saw on this one, too."

'Well, to counteract human activities, we'd better start planting trees ourselves...'

'Marjorie and Brian got an expert to help them protect the local wood...'

'Oh ho! One log moved. My turn, my turn.'

City Zoo: Day Care

"Davina McCall: Life at the Extreme takes a celebrity to the most extreme places on Earth!"

"This is nice … let’s not hop again tomorrow."

"Think you're pretty manly, eh? OK, put the gun down and let's have a fair fight."

'In school today, we learned about endangered species.'

Dear Santa, please can I have a powerful herbicide for Christmas. Best wishes, Adam.

Poor guy fell asleep with his head in the sap.

"Awww man. My nuts are so old they're wrinkled." "Tell me about it."

"I just assumed that the whale we adopted would stay in the ocean."

Monkey-artist

"Can you tell the oak tree to tell the birch tree to tell the elm tree I said hi?"

'Stop cracking and hulling his seeds. He's accustomed to working for his food.'

"Have you guys seen my recent collab with the universe?"

"I read somewhere that truffles are a gateway fungus."

"Do you like it better when I go to the F or the Dm?"

'Oh Darling, you must be so proud: Your first wart!'

"I've got you in my sights now, Mister Squirrel, with your fluffy tail and those tiny hands clutching that itty-bitty nut. Aww, you must be hungry...poor little fella... I love you, Mister Squirrel."

A tortoise running along the side of the road, panting.

"Um, Larry? That’s not a quail."

"Hey, welcome to the Catskills. Anyone here from New Jersey?"

"Listen, pal, I’m not seeing a ‘giant squirrel eating a rib-eye steak.’"

"Touché"

'I was told this was a big deer crossing.'

"Catching him was easy. Getting him through the cat door....Now that's another story."

Save the unicorn.

"I brought cocoa."

"I got ninety-nine problems, but a birch ain't one!"

"Go ahead if you want to: Me, I'll wait for the bears to be sated before I risk it..."

'We're a protected species and an endangered speices, but when I see a person, I don't know if he's protecting us or endangering us.'

Northeastern Deer/Southwestern Deer

'You see, we don't have any children, so he's kind of our baby.'